From the Kool-aid man,,,
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's
birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says,
"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on
sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of
it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that
sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is
really embarrassed,
About then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she
who tooted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The
man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you just tell
me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies," Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call
is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50."
birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says,
"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on
sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of
it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that
sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is
really embarrassed,
About then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she
who tooted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The
man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you just tell
me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies," Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call
is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50."
Urban art
Project Title: Untitled
Recipient Organization: 509 Cultural Center/Luggage Store
Lead Artist: Barry McGee
Genre and Date Awarded: Visual Arts, December 1994
Completed: May 1998
Artist Barry McGee collaborated with the 509 Cultural Center to create a site-specific permanent public artwork on the four inset walls of a building located at Sixth and Howard Streets in San Francisco—an area undergoing redevelopment over the last decade and one that has long been home to low-income seniors, deteriorating single room occupancy hotels, bars, and Filipino immigrant families. McGee, well-known as “Twist”—the creator of many temporary, ephemeral public pieces—proposed this as his first permanent mural. Collaborating with the 509 Cultural Center and the neighbors in the building’s vicinity, McGee created images that were closely tied to the site and its characters. The mural was completed and dedicated in late spring 1998.
The piece consisted of four 64 foot by 8 foot metal trays fitted to and installed on the inset walls. Large portraits along with smaller, more intimate renderings were enameled and spray painted over the metal surfaces. The panels then were bolted to the inset walls.
When he embarked on this project, Barry McGee intended to work on a building located at Leavenworth and Turk streets in San Francisco’s Tenderloin—a neighborhood where the 509 Cultural Center sponsors many projects. However, the collaborators encountered unanticipated resistance from the building’s absentee owners and similar problems when they tried to move to different, nearby buildings. While the South of Market’s Sixth Street corridor, where the project was eventually produced, has a similar demographic profile to the Tenderloin, it has long been a neighborhood where alternative arts organizations and projects clustered. There the collaborators found a receptive building owner.
The site approval effort took longer than anticipated, but more dramatic was the project’s ultimate outcome. McGee completed and installed the four panels by May 1998. Their installation was celebrated with a party with the neighbors surrounding the building. A few days later, one of the panels was stolen. McGee re-painted and replaced it and reinforced the bolts on the entire piece. In November 1999, the entire project was stolen. San Francisco Chronicle reporter Eric Brazil claimed “For sheer heft and volume, the great South of Market mural theft is a candidate for The Guinness Book of World Records.” ArtWeek commented in its January 2000 issue, “The robbery is an unfortunate example of a public artwork falling into private hands. McGee’s popularity, coupled with the high prices that his pieces command, has supporters worried that the stolen mural might be intended for sale in the art market.” It has not been recovered.
At the time of undertaking this project, Barry McGee had produced a large body of temporary and ephemeral work in spray enamel. He also had been part of several gallery exhibitions (at Center for the Arts at Yerba Buena Gardens and the San Jose Museum of Art in Northern California; Museu Lasar Segall in São Paulo, Brazil; and other venues) in which he attempted to “‘bring stimuli from the outside in,’ constantly recreating and reinventing the ‘eternal wall,’ using spray enamel, mixed media, and found objects.” He also had spent seven months in São Paulo Brazil, working with young street artists through a grant from the Lila Wallace-Reader’s Digest Fund/Arts International. Upon his return, he collaborated with the 509 Cultural Center’s teens and homeless residents on a temporary wall in the Sixth Street Corridor of the South of Market in San Francisco.
The 509 Cultural Center is a Tenderloin/Sixth Street-based arts and cultural organization, which seeks to enrich and empower the cultural lives of the ethnically diverse, predominantly low-income residents of its neighborhood. It produces public art projects, gallery exhibitions, performances by new and emerging artists, and an apprenticeship training program. It also serves as a drug and alcohol free space for meetings, workshops, rehearsals, recitals, and discussions.
haahahahaha
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.......
I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' Call Center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Thanks Ken
I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' Call Center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Thanks Ken
Man Stories - from Bradlito
1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a
shit".
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to
forgive me.
3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out
"get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did
this to me you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember,
I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "it'll be too painful."
4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and
she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor,
Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at
me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came
all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
One Monday morning the UPS guy is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles..
"Wow. Bob", looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that's when we started playing "WHO AM I."
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play "WHO AM I?"
"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet.then the women try to guess who it is."
The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a
shit".
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to
forgive me.
3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out
"get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did
this to me you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember,
I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "it'll be too painful."
4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and
she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor,
Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at
me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came
all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
One Monday morning the UPS guy is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles..
"Wow. Bob", looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that's when we started playing "WHO AM I."
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play "WHO AM I?"
"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet.then the women try to guess who it is."
The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."
The only good thing about this kind of weather...
It's storming here now but at least I can prowl around looking for people to "Foosh".
Uh, damn ! ! !
Army Reservist Staff Sgt. Brett Bennethum was ordered to Iraq in July. His four-year-old daughter Paige had a hard time letting go, so much that she held onto his hand in formation. No one, including the commanding officer, had the heart to pull her away. The picture of the incident, taken by Paige’s mother, has gone viral and touched people all over the country.
Spotted ! !
A bumper sticker spotted today by my Brother-in-law Dave (The Chairborne Ranger) on an older Suburban...
I SURVIVED CASH FOR CLUNKERS!!!
Get one Here
I SURVIVED CASH FOR CLUNKERS!!!
Get one Here
Hmmm...
Ever wondered how atom bombs and fissile material crisscross the United States? They do so in blue trucks called Safeguards Transporters.
As revealed by a Freedom of Information Act request, finished nukes, their parts and fissile material like plutonium and highly enriched uranium are transported in these unmarked 18-wheelers operated by the Department of Energy. If you untangle the bureaucratese, the trucks appear to have locks on them:
[The Safeguards Transporter is a] specially designed part of an 18-wheel rig that incorporates various deterrents to prevent unauthorized removal of cargo.
Should you run for your life if you see the truck pictured jackknife? If you believe the government, you’re perfectly okay:
The thermal characteristics of the [transporter] would allow the trailer to be totally engulfed in a fire without incurring damage to the cargo. The tractors are standard production units that have been modified to provide the federal agents protection against attack. Escort vehicles accompany the tractor-trailers during transportation activities.
You may be alarmed at what is perhaps a brusque and condescending tone from the DoE when it comes to such serious matters, but as evidenced by the lack of a nuclear attack on a civilian population since World World II, nukes are very, very hard to get. Even in parts of the world not known for running their trains on time.
As revealed by a Freedom of Information Act request, finished nukes, their parts and fissile material like plutonium and highly enriched uranium are transported in these unmarked 18-wheelers operated by the Department of Energy. If you untangle the bureaucratese, the trucks appear to have locks on them:
[The Safeguards Transporter is a] specially designed part of an 18-wheel rig that incorporates various deterrents to prevent unauthorized removal of cargo.
Should you run for your life if you see the truck pictured jackknife? If you believe the government, you’re perfectly okay:
The thermal characteristics of the [transporter] would allow the trailer to be totally engulfed in a fire without incurring damage to the cargo. The tractors are standard production units that have been modified to provide the federal agents protection against attack. Escort vehicles accompany the tractor-trailers during transportation activities.
You may be alarmed at what is perhaps a brusque and condescending tone from the DoE when it comes to such serious matters, but as evidenced by the lack of a nuclear attack on a civilian population since World World II, nukes are very, very hard to get. Even in parts of the world not known for running their trains on time.
Last run...
Jerome Miller loved drag racing, running an AMC Concord until he was 56 and attending races religiously until his death. His family arranged to have his hearse make one final run down his home track — his casket on board.
Miller was a racer from the start, joining the ranks of drag racers in the 1950s and racing at various levels for forty years. He took time off to raise a family, and took his boys to the track on almost every weekend there was racing, lending a hand and talking cars with all who would have it. When the nest emptied, he ran an AMC Concord until an aneurysm limited his sight, and even then he kept going to the track, even attending the Labor Day races this year. He was considered a pillar of the racing community at Great Lakes Dragway in Union Grove, Wisconsin. He died last Tuesday, and as a fitting tribute, his family arranged to have the hearse bearing his casket take him on one last run down strip. The time wasn't great, 45 seconds at 27 mph, but a fellow racer, upon discovering what was going on, said "So they took him on his last pass. Cool. That's cool."
Miller was a racer from the start, joining the ranks of drag racers in the 1950s and racing at various levels for forty years. He took time off to raise a family, and took his boys to the track on almost every weekend there was racing, lending a hand and talking cars with all who would have it. When the nest emptied, he ran an AMC Concord until an aneurysm limited his sight, and even then he kept going to the track, even attending the Labor Day races this year. He was considered a pillar of the racing community at Great Lakes Dragway in Union Grove, Wisconsin. He died last Tuesday, and as a fitting tribute, his family arranged to have the hearse bearing his casket take him on one last run down strip. The time wasn't great, 45 seconds at 27 mph, but a fellow racer, upon discovering what was going on, said "So they took him on his last pass. Cool. That's cool."
via Jalopnik
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
