Calvin explains the recession


America


Hitman monkey

Like a lot of things, I stole this somewhere...

Montana Gun Bill Being Debated

Montana may be poised to adopt Alaska style carry with a bill that will:
Allow people to carry a concealed weapon without a permit;
Greatly strengthen self-defense protections in the state;
Allow people to display their gun to deter an attack;
Allow people to use a gun whenever at risk of physical harm;
And, in shooting incidents in which the person who fired the gun claimed self defense, require the state to prove that it was not.
I don’t know the specifics of the bill, and some of the points here don’t make a lot of sense. Like number five. Isn’t that how proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt already works? I would have concerns about 3 and 4. Define physical harm? What constitutes an attack? If a kid throws a snowball at me, am I justified in shooting him? If another driver shouts out his windows, “I’m goign to kick your ass,” is that a lethal force scenario? I’d have to see specifics to really understand, because I doubt the journalists really do. But I definitely whole heartedly support points 1 and 2. There are circumstances I would support 3 and 4 as well, but the law probaby already accounts for force disparity. Nontheless, I don’t think a person should have to risk concussion making their head a punching bag for some drunken lout before defending themselves.

from Snowflakes in Hell

For Michelle...


Two squirrels as promised...

1 second ! ! ! ! !

Blink and you'll miss it. Miller High Life has bought up 1-second slots advertising to air during the Superbowl. The spots feature a boisterous Miller High Life (MHL) truck-loader named Wendel shouting out phrases and doing silly things inside a MHL loading dock. "Happy can," "Cham-pagne of beers," "pigskin gravy," "Frugal bugle," are some of the things says in the preview spots posted on 1secondad.com.
The brilliant use of the format dovetails perfectly with the beer's brand identity. “Miller High Life is all about high quality and great value, so it wouldn’t make sense for this brand to pay $3 million for a 30-second ad,” said High Life senior brand manager Kevin Oglesby, in a press release. “Just like our consumers, High Life strives to make smart choices. One second should be plenty of time to remind viewers that Miller High Life is common sense in a bottle.”
I've been predicting for the past year that MHL was poised to become the PBR of the recession, perhaps this campaign will cement it. Wendel also has a bunch of clips on YouTube, many of which are much longer than 1 second.
1SecondAd [Official Site]Miller High Life will have 1-second Super Bowl ad [Business Journal]

THE BALL ! ! ! ! ! !

Hero

Gojira ! ! ! ! ! !


Bird on a wire...


Stolen from bits and pieces

For Ali and David...


Brokeback Mountain 2 - this one I'll watch...

Always cheers me up...

This guy is interesting...



I usually check Gun News Daily, well, daily, and scroll down to the Only in California section immediately. If nothing is posted I feel better. However, under the Atlas Shrugged heading on GND today they had California Educated: 'The Young and the Silly'. I'm not going to fisk it or discuss it or anything, it's so moronic. One thing I noticed though, is how there seems to be so many folks around these days who have literally no experience with a subject, yet are awfully damned sure their opinion, and only their opinion, is the absolutely right one. There is so little critical thinking it's scary. A few years ago I was returning a video to the rental place and the guy at the counter asked me if I rode a motorcycle. I'm thinking, what gave it it away? The leathers, the boots, the helmet, bugs in my teeth, what? So I said yes and he launches into a diatribe about lane splitters (or lane sharing). It totally pissed him off, although he never said exactly why. The counter guy then says the next time he sees a bike coming up lane splitting he's going to open his door (we call it dooring) and crash him. I was stunned. Stultified. Horrified. It took a moment to recover from the shock. I flipped my helmet around to weapon configuration (holding it by the chin guard from the inside, way handy in a fight you didn't see coming, btw) and asked the counter guy if I should just kill him now. Now counter guy is shocked. How could he not see that coming?

I agree I would have ripped the guy a new one.

I hit his page and thieve cool stuff all the time.


from Ride Fast & Shoot Straight

Favorite TV show

To President Reject Bush...

Um, Wow.

Claude

Claude the hypnotist performing for the seniors in a nearby town recently exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude drew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch." "It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.


"SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.


It took 3 days to clean up the Senior Center ............


================================
Credit for this one goes to Melissa -

We ain't as dumb as we look

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years, and they came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.Not to be outdone by New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: ' California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper-wire system and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'One week later, 'The Redneck Rebel Gazette' in West Virginia reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in a cornfield, Bubba Ray Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, West Virginia had already gone wireless.

from Knuckledraggin my life away - thanks Ken!!!

New sheriff in town…

An applicant to the Bloomfield, New Jersey’s Sheriff’s Office was being interviewed for the job.
The Deputy doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted.”

Sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says:
“Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six crack heads, and a rabbit. “

“Why the rabbit?”

“Great attitude,” says the Deputy. “When can you start?”

from Bits & Pieces

Miracle on the Hudson simulation...

Estate Planning

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune and fun.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted a strikingly beautiful woman. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

Thanks Knuckledraggin my life

Doesn't this look like fun ! ! !

Dinner, a word that can foment uncontrolled drooling...



I had dinner with the coolest people I know.

Saying 'dinner' just doesn't cover it. It's like calling the Mona Lisa a doodle or using the word intercourse.

It just doesn't describe how sublime the experience can be.

Dinner.

It should be called 'the fabulously awe inspiring invasion of taste commandos laying waste to your senses and destroying your mind with flavors not of this world'

In other words, I know some people who can cook and occasionally get to take advantage of it.

It makes me so happy.

We had Cocovan (my new favorite food ! ! ) I couldn't put my fork down and wanted to lick the plate. Don't judge me - you know you've felt that way in the past. If not, you need to come eat with us. It will change your life--I promise you.

I felt like such a glutton and I would have eaten every bit of it had people not been watching. I am sure my dog was at home feeling a disturbance in the force. It was that good.

Before dinner we had my favorite champagne (sparkling wine for those who need to dot the t's and cross the i's) it was a Roederer (say rowderererrer five times fast).
I'm not a snob of any type (yes I am) but I gotta say I really don't want to drink any other. Lightly fruity and delicate are words that spring to mind.

We were celebrating the Old Man's impending trip to Panama. He is going to seek out a place to lay his weary bones during the current cold spell that is gripping the northern hemisphere.

Good luck Old Man.

I left my wee beasty there overnight to field trip with her shockingly pretty cousin to high school for the day. The girl gets prettier every time I see her and has a poise and self confidence that will probably drive her dad over the brink.

I'm glad he bought a shotgun and I'll gladly wield the shovel. Anyone want in on the alibi portion of our evil plan?

So good luck to Robin and the beasty. Have fun and be careful. Like her dad says "this is the best form of birth control".

I am eagerly awaiting an email with the recipe from last nights adventure. When it comes I'll consider sharing it here so you can share in my delight.

Maybe the vegetarian elves will pack it up the leftovers and send them in a care package.

One can hope right?

AHAHAHAA...

The porn industry says that they are looking for a government bailout…

So it looks like Barack Obama may have found a cabinet position for Bill Clinton as well.

stole this from deaddog...

I agree ! ! ! !

We'll miss you...



Sad news today: Word has come that actor Ricardo Montalbán, most famous for his portrayals of Mr. Roarke on the TV show "Fantasy Island" and Khan Noonien Singh in Star Trek, has passed away at the age of 88. The cause of his death has not been released as yet.

Keep praying...


The Daily Anchor exclusive by Andrew S. Lennon

Layoffs at Oracle began on Friday 1/9, but so far rumors abound while hard facts and figures are difficult to come by. Shocking.
In an effort to sort the wheat from the chaff, here’s the latest separation of fact and fiction:
If you have any additional information send it our way.

Oracle Layoff Facts:
Oracle hasn’t posted a notice to California’s EDD WARN system yet. (CA Employment Development Department’s Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification)
Oracle has a history of sending WARNs only after layoffs occur. When Oracle announced in January 2005 it would lay off more than 5,000 employees from the recently-acquired PeopleSoft Inc., the state only received WARNs for about 900 workers two weeks after the layoffs occurred.
Peter Goldmacher, of analyst firm Cowen, said in a research note that Oracle cut just over one percent of its workforce on Friday (approx. 800 employees) and that the layoffs were spread throughout the firm. The cuts to the services group and the sales and marketing department were the most significant, although most of the sales and marketing staff cuts were in overlay and sales consulting roles, Goldmacher said in his note. The cuts could potentially improve Oracle’s margins, he added.
The Times of India also reported Sunday that 40 people were laid-off at Oracle’s development office in Bangalore.
Oracle Layoff Rumors:
The Oracle layoffs are company-wide and is in the order of 10-15%, or about 8,000 employees (Oracle employs about 84,000 globally.)
Oracle layoffs are rumored to focus specifically on NA Sales, Technology Business Unit, NA Consulting, NA Alliances & Channels, Retail Global Business Unit.
One poster who identified himself as a member of online group for former Oracle employees, Club Ex-Oracle, wrote “I can safely confirm that they had laid off 20% of the consulting staff.”
Tim Klasell, an analyst with Thomas Weisel Partners, told Computerworld he thought the layoffs were likely to be in the hundreds or low thousands, rather than the 8,000-figure buzzing about on some blogs and message boards.
On April 29 of last year Oracle successfully completed a hostile takeover of BEA Systems… In an effort to stave off the acquisition, BEA changed the terms of its severance in late 2007 so that most employees would receive between 3 months and 12 months of pay and COBRA health insurance if they were laid-off within a year of an acquisition. According to a December 22 filing to the SEC (see page 12), Oracle expects to eventually spend a total of $148 million on severance packages for laid-off employees of BEA, which it bought in January 2008. My guess? Since the severance package clause expires on April 29 and Oracle’s fiscal year ends on May 31st, if there’s going to be a massive round of layoffs of former-BEA employees it’ll come in May.
There you have it: a complete inconclusive post that confirms Oracle is laying off employees, but throws skepticism at the 8,000 number that’s been tossed around.
Forecast: Partly cloudy, with a chance of thunderstorms and moderate layoffs into the spring. Expect mild waves over the next couple of months, with a chance of shit really hitting the fan in May, if it’s going to at all.

From Auntie Mary in Warshingtin

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and Sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours, and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls.
So, now you know.

P.S. Don't lose your sense of humor during these challenging times!

OH SHIT ! ! ! ! ! Pray for me ! ! !




My wife asked, just now, why do we learn about these things on the internet?

I suppose they have to keep it under wraps to protect the almighty shareholder.
It is sad that the shareholder is the one and only concern of modern corporations.
That's why PeopleSoft was sold. The shareholders saw a chance to make a buck. Billions of bucks. This is the reason the housing bubble got so out of control. Big fast return on shareholder investment. What ever happened to taking care of the employee or doing what's right for the company? Or dare I say it what's right for your country?

Corps are legally required to do what is right by the shareholder.

Employees be damned.

Well, good luck everyone...


NEW YORK (Reuters) – Oracle Corp. has trimmed its workforce, but not as much as some people had speculated, The Wall Street Journal reported on Tuesday.

Citing people familiar with the matter, the newspaper said the software giant cut around 500 positions in its North American sales and consulting businesses on Friday.

The Redwood Shores, California-based company had 33,526 employees in the Americas at the end of November and 86,657 globally, the report said.

An Oracle spokeswoman declined to comment to the newspaper and could not immediately be reached by Reuters.

The Journal said the Internet has been buzzing with rumors of cuts of up to 10 percent of the company's workforce, a move that would affect thousands of people. Some analysts have put the number in the hundreds.

I'm Mexican and I like hot food but...



I am not stupid enough to eat these ! ! !

Holy crap go check this out

http://www.greensock.com/portfolio/MicroManiac/index.html

The Christmas lights are the best ! ! !

Damn funny

Helicopter crash @#$%

Unbelievable...

The numbers are in and we lost 2.6 million jobs in 2008, making it the worst year since 1945. How do you picture 2.6 million jobs? Well, by looking at Wisconsin. Or Missouri. Or Maryland.
CNN says:
November, in which 584,000 jobs were lost, and December marked the first time in the 70-year history of the report in which the economy lost more than 500,000 jobs in consecutive months.
"We have a bigger economy now, but even on a proportional basis, the last months have been the worst since [1945]," said Kurt Karl, head of economic research at Swiss Re. "It's just an enormous acceleration of job losses."
By comparison, the 2.6 million jobs lost in 2008 nationwide were equal to the number of jobs found in states such as Wisconsin, Missouri or Maryland.
So basically, we fired Wisconsin. No foam cheese hats. No beer. No sausage shaped like beer. No Green Bay Packers! (Oh well. Go Giants.)

I agree ! ! ! !



Hmmm...

So, the ATF issued a notice a couple of days ago to all FFLs that the inventory of Form 4473 (the NICS check form you fill out every time you buy a firearm from an FFL dealer) is running low due to “unprecedented demand.” I wonder why demand is so high? Could it be because the next…nah. Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.

stolen from some other blog

Metric equivalents


For Michelle...


Damn...


Forget Iran


Thanks - dead dog

Gas can + Cigarette = Blonde moment! !


Gotta get me one of these...



I think it's safe to say that everyone who's ever watched the original Star Trek series has wanted to sit in Captain Kirk's chair. Not only would it be awesome to be in command of the Enterprise, but it's also clearly the most comfortable chair on the ship—not to mention the only one with armrests. Well, now you can sit in a replica of Kirk's chair right in your own home, provided you don't mind spending several thousand dollars for it.
The replica is very true to the original, and even has sound effects and lights that, all things considered, are probably better than those on the TV show. Unfortunately, it sells for $2,717.01, which—while cleverly getting the "1701" in there—is a heck of a lot money, and (not too unreasonably, given its size and, probably, weight) it costs $400 more to ship.
So now we know what all the rich geeks will be purchasing for themselves. They'll just have to figure out where to put it, since Star Trek chic doesn't go with most decors.
Thanks geekdad

Hmmm...

Fact Of The Day from DeadDog

‘In 2007, Oracle CEO Larry Ellison out-earned all other CEOs in the U.S.’

Although Ellison only earned a nominal $1 million salary, he picked up a whopping $182 million in vested stock options that he exercised in 2007.
Over the last five years, Ellison has been paid $428.59 million. Averaged out, he has earned on average over $87 million per year since 2003.

So...?




So, Ken, ya rat bastard when you gonna come shooting with us?


I keep inviting and you keep making excuses.


Guns we got.


Bullets are cheap.


Open a Saturday and lets kill some frisbees ! ! !

Sweet lounging pants ! !

Gotta get me some of these ! ! !

Sorry Ken

Conflicted...


Too funny


Damn Jailbait ! ! ! ! ! !

I have daughters and this is the reason I have a shotgun and a shovel...

Too funny


Marry her...





























Dirty Mascot ! ! !


I KNEW IT ! ! ! ! !


How I'd use the force...

I'd definitely be a Sith lord. As much as I'd like to be all goodness and light and makin Yoda happy -- deep down I am a dirty bastard and need a look at the panties.

My light saber would be as big around as a frisbee ! ! ! ! !

I WARNED MY KID ! ! ! !

Poss repost but people need to know ! ! ! ! ! !

Ruff ! ! ! !


Scandalous ! !

If you know then you are shocked - If you don't then you are better off...

How Episcopalian


Real life Banksy?


So wrong ! ! ! !

But sooooo cute ! ! ! ! !

I need counseling...

OK I'm back




Vacation was three weeks of laziness and hangin with the sister unit. I was supposed to be in Portland for two weeks drinking with my father in law but jack frost caused a blizzard in Portland and mom in law called and advised against us visiting--gotta love her for saving our lives---and instead we had a "staycation" here at home and went to the zoo and hung out with friends and family.


Let the posting begin...

Welcome to the family ! ! ! !

This is my new nephew Noah Scott he was Born Dec 30th 2008 at 8am and was a normal sized baby at 7lb 8oz but apparently hung like a bear cause his dad says he's 20-3/4in long which is about normal for the men in my family.

Can't wait to meet him! ! ! !