Get a kleenex . No, get a box of kleenex...


Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing – a movie.

From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.

The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.

The animated movie begins with scenes showing the evolution of a relationship between a husband and wife. After losing his wife in old age, the now grumpy man deals with his loss by attaching thousands of balloons to his house, flying into the sky, and going on an adventure with a little boy.

Colby died about seven hours after seeing the film.

With her daughter’s vigil planned for Friday, Lisa Curtin reflected about how grateful she is that Pixar – and "Up" – were a part of her only child’s last day.

“When I watched it, I had really no idea about the content of the theme of the movie,” said Curtin, 46. “I just know that word ‘Up’ and all of the balloons and I swear to you, for me it meant that (Colby) was going to go up. Up to heaven.”

Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.

Colby was diagnosed with vascular cancer on Dec. 23, 2005 after doctors found a tumor in her liver. At the time of her death, her stomach was about 94 inches around, swollen with fluids the cancer wouldn’t let her body properly digest. The rest of her body probably weighed about 45 pounds, family friend Carole Lynch said.

Colby had gone to Newport Elementary School and was known for making others laugh, family friend Terrell Orum-Moore said. Colby loved to dance, sing, swim and seemed to have a more mature understanding of the world than other children her age, Orum-Moore said.

On April 28, Colby went to see the Dream Works 3-D movie "Monsters Vs. Aliens" but was impressed by the previews to "Up."

“It was from then on, she said, ‘I have to see that movie. It is so cool,’” Lynch said.

Colby was a movie fan, Lisa Curtin said, and she latched onto Pixar’s movies because she loved animals.

Two days later Colby’s health began to worsen. On June 4 her mother asked a hospice company to bring a wheelchair for Colby so she could visit a theater to see "Up." However, the weekend went by and the wheelchair was not delivered, Lisa Curtin said.

By June 9, Colby could no longer be transported to a theater and her family feared she would die without having seen the movie.

At that point, Orum-Moore, who desperately wanted Colby to get her last wish, began to cold-call Pixar and Disney to see if someone could help.

Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum-Moore said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum-Moore guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said.

Pixar officials listened to Colby’s story and agreed to send someone to Colby’s house the next day with a DVD of "Up," Orum-Moore recalled.

She immediately called Lisa Curtin, who told Colby.

“Do you think you can hang on?” Colby’s mother said.

“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie,” the girl replied.


At about 12:30 p.m. the Pixar employee came to the Curtins’ home with the DVD.

He had a bag of stuffed animals of characters in the movie and a movie poster. He shared some quirky background details of the movie and the group settled in to watch Up.

Colby couldn't see the screen because the pain kept her eyes closed so her mother gave her a play-by-play of the film.

At the end of the film, the mother asked if her daughter enjoyed the movie and Colby nodded yes, Lisa Curtin said.

The employee left after the movie, taking the DVD with him, Lynch said.

“He couldn’t have been nicer,” said Lynch who watched the movie with the family. “His eyes were just welled up.”

After the movie, Colby’s dad, Michael Curtin, who is divorced from Lisa Curtin, came to visit.

Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m.

Among the Up memorabilia the employee gave Colby was an “adventure book” – a scrap book the main character’s wife used to chronicle her journeys.

“I’ll have to fill those adventures in for her,” Lisa Curtin said.


Wow! Listen to the THUD!!!

Don't..

If you have little kids. Don't ever watch Benjamin Button.

Damn...

I like this

Happy Negative Christmasfrom Dilbert.com Blog

I just invented a new holiday. It's called Negative Christmas. On this day, rather than giving gifts, you can force a family member or friend to discard one item that he or she already owns. The selected item might be a hideous shirt that you consider an abomination, or that pair of bedroom slippers that are an insult to all footwear. The idea is that the unrecipient should be better off without the item you ungift.

For example, let's say you have a single friend who has a collection of Star Wars memorabilia and also complains that he can't get a woman to stay the night. You could help by making him give away the full-sized wookie that he keeps next to his dresser. When the next Negative Christmas rolls around you could go after the collection of light sabers he keeps over his mantle. It might take you a few years to make any difference in his love life, but think of it as a project.

For real Christmas, people often give gifts of clothing or accessories so the recipient will look attractive. For Negative Christmas you could pay a crazy guy with tattoos to punch your friend in his soft tissue every time he eats a Big Mac or skips going to the gym. In the long run it will help your friend more than a new necktie.

During Negative Christmas there will be no need for vacuous greeting cards or festive salutations. For the entire month leading up to Negative Christmas you are expected to avoid eye contact and mumble insults about everyone you encounter. Ask yourself what would make you happier: 1. Getting a cheap greeting card or, 2. Calling someone a trout-faced bastard under your breath.

Negative Christmas would be every June 25th, on the opposite side of the calendar from Christmas. You would celebrate by planting a tree instead of killing one, and saving your money for yourself instead of blowing it on worthless crap for others.

Who's with me?

After a party...

This is a pic of my 4 year old's bedroom after a party. The party was a screaming success but I had to clean her room with a snow shovel.

New Pictures posted !!! !! !

I finally moved the pix from my phone to my PC and thought I'd share them. At the top of the right column is the slideshow. Click on it for a look. Included are various family, friends and trips (Oregon, etc.)

One for the LittleFish and one for the LittleMan...


Hmmm...

The Google – Youtube – Conundrum


You have a video that you want to post on the web. It may be just for you. It could be for friends. It could be for family. It could be for a company or a political campaign. It could a video that you want seen by as many people as possible. Regardless of your audience expectations, do you have any expectation of paying for that video to be hosted ? Of course you don’t. Neither does anyone else.
The reality is that all of us have the expectation of being able to post any and every video on sites like Youtube for free, with no limitation on audience size or location. We have reached the point where Youtube in particular, Google specifically is subsidizing the majority of user generated content on the web. 20gbs PER MINUTE upload and who knows how much for viewing
Which leads to the question, what happens if they stopped subsidizing the cost of bandwidth for user uploaded video ?
What would happen to internet video ? What would happen to social media ? What would happen to the future of entertainment ? What would happen to the future of politics ? How would it change how we use the internet ? The list of questions is a mile long. Would it be the best thing to ever happen to traditional media ? Hence the conundrum.
The next question of course is “why would Google stop subsidizing the uploading , hosting and presentation of 80pct of the user generated online videos (excluding commercial sites) viewed in the US ?”
The answer of course is : Because they had to.
There are two certainties for the technology business in the US. The first is that every leader falls out of the lead at some point. The 2nd is that every leader falling out of the lead gets torched by Wall Street and places a premium on stock price over free services and their users.
Google has already established itself as a hall of famer. But nothing lasts forever in techland. Particularly subsidies. What happens to the internet and how we use it when those subsidies end is a country song that will eventually be written.

from blog maverick by markcuban

Married her...



In case you hadn't gone through the fun family pix (that I need to update) this lovely lady is my wonderful wife - Cris.

She is beautiful, funny and smart as hell. She plays and teaches piano, flute, guitar and voice has a degree in Computer Science.

She rides her own motorcycle, is a dead shot with her Walther and cooks like no one else I know.

Damn! I'm a lucky guy.

Now back off you animals - she's mine!!! Get your own.

Gotta get me one of these...


When super car brands are brought up, Volvo doesn't usually come to mind. That might change thanks to Koenigsegg engineer Mattias Vöx and his re-imagined, 600HP, V8-powered modern Volvo P1800.
Don't get us wrong, the two Swedish companies won't officially be working together to build the new Volvo P1800, but their engineering know-how will be in full effect. Vöx has approached Swedish design firm Vizualtech to handle the styling elements of the newly proposed one-off car which, as you can see above, is fairly faithful to the original 1960s design. When viewed next to a classic P1800, you'll first notice that Vizualtech has designed in larger wheel openings to accommodate larger wheels and they've also added 70mm to the front of the car to help fit the proposed powertrain.
Taking cues from his previous 1967 Volvo Amazon station wagon SEMA build, Vöx will supply the new P1800 with a tuned and turbocharged 600-horsepower V8 lifted from a Volvo XC90 SUV mated to a six-speed manual transmission.
We're excited to see this project come to fruition and desperately hope that it isn't just some Swedish meatball pipe dream as so many of these types of projects turn out to be. [autoblog.nl via motorauthority]

So dig this...

I got home with my girls after a run to the supermarket and hear the jailbird neighbor telling his girlfriend that my other neighbor left the gate open so they could swim while he was gone. So I ask him "What's up?" and he says Curt left the gate open so they could swim. Now, I have a pool so I do that for some of my friends but not this guy. So I ask Curt when he gets home--"Dude, did you leave your gate open so that fella could swim?" "Nope." was the answer.

So what's a guy to do?

Leave a comment and I'll tell where it went...

First comment:
Does that mean someone was swimming in your pool?
-----------------------------------------------

--No, that would have ended with the moron at gunpoint and the cops hauling him and his idiot girlfriend to the clink.

What happened was the jailbird moron and the woman with poor choice in men who lives on the corner lied to me and said Curt left his gate open so they could swim in his pool.

When I asked Curt he was pissed.

So, when the moron returned home that evening Curt and I paid him a visit (and Stan) and asked him to clear up the misunderstanding.

He insisted that Curt said he could swim anytime he wanted and took offense about having the whole neighbood in his business. Now, the guy is a mouthbreather who sells stolen tv's for extra money so I gently reminded him that people wandering loose in my neighbor's backyard IS my business and if my wife finds him in mine she's going to shoot him and then call me. I left it at that and let mugsy wander back to his disappointing life.

So, the next day Curt tells me "...I don't think he likes you much..."
My reply was simply - it's not a popularity contest Curt. It's life.

Classic Carlin on Classic Carson...

The Rules of Wedding Crashing

1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
2: Never use your real name.
3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.
4: No one goes home alone.
5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow crasher.
6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
7: Blend in by standing out.
8: Be the life of the party.
9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
10: Invitations are for pussies.
11: Sensitive is good.
12: When it stops being fun, break something.
13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.
16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.
17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
18: You love animals and children.
19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
20: The older the better, the younger the better (see below)
21: Definitely make sure she's 18.
22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
23: There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.
24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.
25: You understand she heard that, but that's not what you meant.
26: Of course you love her.
27: Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
28: Make sure there's an open bar.
29: Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
30: Know the play-book so you can call an audible.
31: If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.
32: Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
33: Never go back to your place.
34: Be gone by sunrise.
35: Breakfast is for closers.
36: Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
37: At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
38: Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.
39: The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
40: Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
41: Never hit on the bride; it's a one way ticket to the pavement.
42: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
43: At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.
44: Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after, but don't talk about it.
45: Always remember your fake name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Crasher's code-name as well!
46: The rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
47: You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancée.
49: Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
50: Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
51: Always pull out in time.
52: Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put, but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
53: It's time to put your Drama Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
54: Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.
55: If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.
56: Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up.
57: When seeing a rival Crasher, do not interact. Merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.
58: The Ferrari's in the shop.
59: If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.
60: No "chicken dancing." No exceptions.
61: When crashing out of state, request permission from the local Wedding Crasher chapter.
62: No more than two weddings a weekend; more and your game gets sloppy. You'll also attract unwanted notice.
63: Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Courtesy opens more legs than charm.
64: Always save room for cake.
65: When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island.
66: Smile! You're having the time of your life.
67: Mix it up a little. You can't always be the man with the haunted past.
68: Dance with the Bride's grandmother.
69: No sex on the altar. Confessionals, okay. Chair lofts, better.
70: Two shutouts in a row? It's time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is it that is getting in the way of my happiness?
71: Research, research, research the wedding party. And when you are done researching, research some more.
72: Studies have shown that women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints: small cost, big yield.
73: Keep interactions with the parents of the bride and groom to a minimum.
74: In case of emergency, refer to the book.
75: Do NOT sing at the reception.
76: No excuses. Play like a champion.
77: Carry extra protection at ALL times.
78: The unmarried female rabbi: is she fair game? Of course she is.
79: The tables furthest from the kitchen always get served first.
80: Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life.
81: Occasionally bring a gift. You're getting sex without having to buy dinner, so you can afford a blender.
82: Always think ahead, but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you'll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind.
83: Don't let the ring bearer bum your smokes. His parents may start to ask questions.
84: Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may recognize you and start to wonder.
85: Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit; not cool, not effective.
86: Shoes say a lot about the man.
87: Always choose large weddings. More choice. Easier to blend.
88: You're from out of town. ALWAYS.
89: Know something about the place you say you are from, whether it's another US state or another country. Texas is too played-out. For some reason, England, Germany, or even New Hampshire seem to work. Master the accents convincingly, and you've nailed them!
90: Of course you dream of one day having children.
91: Never dance to "What I Like About You." It's long past time to let that song go. Someone will request it at every wedding. Don't dance to it. No matter how hot the girl.
92: Tell the bride's friends and family that you are family of the groom and visa-versa.
93: Only take one car. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.
94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.
95: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy.
96: Etiquette isn't old-fashioned, it's sexy.
97: Catholic weddings-- the classic dilemma: painfully long ceremony, horny girls.
98: The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully.
99: Be judicious with cologne. Citrus tones are best.
100: Save the tuxes for "the big show" only.
101: Avoid women who were psychology majors in college. There is no kind of woman more clingy and persistent than a psychologist investigating your story later on.
102: No periwinkle colored ties, please.
103: Always have an early "appointment" the next morning.
104: Be well groomed and well-mannered.
105: Never cockblock a fellow Crasher. Cockblocking an invited guest is okay.
106: Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy later.
107: Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating.
108: Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.
109: Always carry an assortment of place cards to match any wedding design.
110: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.
111: Never have sex with bride or groom's mother, even if she is the hottest bombshell at the wedding. Just control yourself.
112: Have FUN! It's why you're there!
113: Don't look for opportunities; make them.
114: 3-4 months to wedding crash--funerals are year round!
115: Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket. (The that Jeremy makes up to insult John)

busy-ness

Sorry all - I've been pretty busy with the family lately.

I'll try to pick up the pace again...

My wife would dig this...

Transforminators



Great mash up!!!

Newlyweds

At 85 years of age, Jack married LaVonne, a lovely 25-year-old. Since her new husband is so old, LaVonne decides that after their wedding she and Jack should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities LaVonne prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Jack, her 85-year-old groom ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Jack takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, LaVonne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Jack. Again he is ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, LaVonne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Jack kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Jack is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more action. Once again they enjoy each other. But as Jack gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Jack.”
Jack, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LaVonne and says, “You mean I was here already?”

Alzheimer’s - it has its advantages.

Bits & Pieces by Jonco

Calendar

Recently I wrote that newspapers (all of them online) would become extremely local to your family. CNN had a similar article recently, but what they call hyperlocal is your community, not your family. So that isn't nearly local enough in my view.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/05/01/future.online.news.hyperlocal/index.html?iref=t2test_techtues
Moreover, I think the family calendar is the organizing principle into which all external information should flow. I want the kids' school schedules for sports and plays and even lunch choices to automatically flow into the home calendar. And when I want to decide what to do on the weekend, I want to click on the date for next Saturday and have all the relevant choices of plays, movies, and events pop up. Everything you do has a time dimension. If you are looking for a new home, the open houses are on certain dates, and certain houses that fit your needs are open at certain times. If you are shopping for some particular good, you often need to know the store hours. Your calendar needs to know your shopping list and preferences so it can suggest good times to do certain things.Time is closely related to distance. On a typical night, for a typical family, there is much driving to and fro to deliver people and goods to where they need to be. Sometimes it is more complicated than a Fedex route. It would be nice if the family calendar helped us plan the shortest routes to accomplish all goals. The calendar just needs to know what I need and when, then plan which family member with a car is nearest.Perhaps your calendar could suggest some carpooling as well, all automatically. I don't need to know my friends' business, but if their calendars and mine spoke to each other and found some common driving patterns it could shoot us both an offer to carpool, assuming we had approved those friends in advance for such offers. My phone would get the offer and I could confirm with a simple text message response.When I read the news, I'm generally most interested in how stories have unfolded across time. I want to know the "new news," as in the topics that have never been reported until today, but I also want ongoing charts and graphs about the "old news" such as wars and the economy. My understanding of the war in Iraq, for example, has little to do with what blew up today and a lot to do with the trend lines over the entire war. In other words, I see the news in terms of time.In most families, everyone keeps their own calendar and does a spotty job of sharing what's on it with everyone else. In time that calendar coordination will happen electronically. And most of the information will come from external sources, such as your schools, clubs, and organizations to which you belong.Some time ago I blogged that advertising belongs in your electronic calendar, for your benefit more than for the advertiser. That's because my interest and desire in certain products and services is linked to timing. If my calendar has a certain birthday coming up in a week, and I've checked the boxes saying the person is a certain age and gender, or has certain hobbies, my calendar can start giving me gift suggestions and recommending online flowers and e-cards and the like. In other words, advertisements can move from nuisance to valuable service just by adjusting when you see them.I think the biggest software revolution of the future is that the calendar will be the organizing filter for most of the information flowing into your life. You think you are bombarded with too much information every day, but in reality it is just the timing of the information that is wrong. Once the calendar becomes the organizing paradigm and filter, it won't seem as if there is so much.

For Michelle...

Art

via Blame It On The Voices

Nice


Stolen from dead dog

Ohhh the humanity !!!!!1



What's left of this Dodge Challenger was spotted outside a Massachusetts body shop earlier today. Apparently the owner was either "doing a drift or a burnout."

Yes, into a wall.

Coolest driveway EVER! ! ! !


What could quite possibly be the coolest driveway ever was found outside of Lakeland, Florida. Our friends at The Car Lounge used Google Earth to get a closer view of this killer not-so-mini racetrack driveway.
If you look closely you'll notice that he's even installed FIA curbs to each of the corners. We're wondering what kind of ride he has lurking under those trees - a shifter kart, some Italian muscle or what.

The Swine...

Pretty cool...

I am heartbroken...




When I was a kid I used to stay up late on the weekend to watch Creature Features with Bob Wilkins. It remains one of my fondest memories. Late nights hanging out out with my brother Frank and uncles Mike and Juan watching Godzilla or some martian movie. Bob was the coolest guy ever. He was so laid back he seemed nearly comatose with mellowness.

Sadly Bob died earlier this year and I have been, until now, unable to blog about it.

Bob, thank you for making such a deep and wonderful impression on my childhood.
You were the coolest guy I new and I looked forward to hanging with you every Friday.

You are sorely missed.





Gotta get me one of these...

Batmobama and Robiden...


I forget where I stole it but it's great ! ! !

My favorite picture ! ! !

Ari deciding that she is ready for the tub ! ! !

My girlies...

Ali 4

Ari 1
Feeling a bit blue and wanted to share the lights of my life.

For Matt...

Cool shirt...

Krylon can lamp...


For my Sister...




Paper Towel



"High quality 100% cotton tea towel designed to look like a sheet of lined notepaper."
Designed by London's I Saw It First studio.

For Grandma...


There's a sewing-themed tattoo Flickr group. Sew or Die belongs to Katy. Here's two more good ones.

Coolest door ever ! ! !


Mother's day gift idea


Provides all the classic mom responses including "No Way," "I Wish I Knew," "Life Isn't Fair," "Say Please" and 16 more.

$10.17

I bet I could shoot it ! !

Hmmm...

In the last three months of 2008, that’s right- three months, Americans bought enough guns to outfit the Chinese and Indian armies, combined.
This is going to make gun restrictions a lot more politically hazardous for the new administration.

from Snowflakes in Hell by Sebastian

Disappointment personified...



from liveleak via blame it on the voices.

BMW Z4 OWNED by a VW Golf

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is "Wrong"

Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.


Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.


Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.


Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.


Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.


Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.


Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.


Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.


Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Thanks - Blame it on the voices - I'm always stealing their stuff...

Apparently Obama's got a pair...

This is exactly what I was thinking needed to happen this morning. No Kenyan invasion, no increase in the terror status color board and no UN sanctions.


I was thinking that Brother Obama needed to approve a couple of snipers and end this quickly and decisively. A message needed to be sent. No longer will piracy be rewarded--except with lead. Rather than send an invasion force just call up SeAL team 6 (read the Wiki entry - really cool) and cut them loose.


Ford sure flubbed it when he outlawed political assassination in 76. Otherwise Dubya could have started and ended the Iraq problem with a well placed bullet or ten.
=================================================
In this photo released by the U.S. Navy, Maersk-Alabama Capt. Richard Phillips, right, shakes hands with Lt. Cmdr. David Fowler, executive officer of USS Bainbridge after being rescued by U.S Naval Forces off the coast of Somalia on Sunday April 12, 2009.




Navy snipers on the fantail of a destroyer cut down three Somali pirates in a lifeboat and rescued an American sea captain in a surprise nighttime assault in choppy seas Easter Sunday, ending a five-day standoff between a team of rogue gunmen and the world's most powerful military.
It was a stunning ending to an Indian Ocean odyssey that began when 53-year-old freighter Capt. Richard Phillips was taken hostage Wednesday by pirates who tried to hijack the U.S.-flagged Maersk Alabama. The Vermont native was held on a tiny lifeboat that began drifting precariously toward Somalia's anarchic, gun-plagued shores.
The operation, personally approved by President Barack Obama, quashed fears the saga could drag on for months and marked a victory for the U.S., which for days seemed powerless to resolve the crisis despite massing helicopter-equipped warships at the scene.


Happy Easter...


Sweet...

Glad I live in California

Gotta get me one of these...

From Jalopnik:




Miami Cops have unmarked Altimas and laser guns. The RENNtech AMG C63 SPEC.R has a top speed of 187 MPH and luckily, sports a custom rear-view mirror-embedded radar/laser-detecting and jamming system. I used it, often.


Three things about this particular C63 AMG. First, it's a rolling testbed for RENNtech, an established tuner of all things Mercedes, and has the prototype machined airbox to prove it. The second thing to know is power output's been pegged at over 580 HP, more than 100 HP over the stock AMG. There's a thick layer of expelled rubber on the rear fender to prove it. The third thing? It's still a Mercedes, and it has the luxury to prove it.

Driving in Miami isn't about going fast, especially given the well-known congestion, rather, it's about looking stylish. Gleaming Bentley, Aston and Ferrari chrome is blindingly everywhere. They're almost as plentiful as police officers with their laser guns and unmarked Nissan Altima Coupes. So how do you avoid running into a squad car and landing in prison?

This C63 was sporting a rear-view mirror embedded with the readout from the radar/laser detectors, which gave direction and type of surveillance while looking like a stock compass readout. It's the original OEM mirror and all of the built-in features, such as day/night auto and garage openers, are fully functional. How did they do this?



I spoke with Raymond Allen of Technicar, the company that designed the system. "It's stealth-mounted in the car so no one knows it is in the rearview mirror. Many cars have it so the compass will readout into the rearview mirror, so it looks like an OEM device but it gives you a stealth readout that no one knows its there."

It works flawlessly. Speeding up an on-ramp, I hear the familiar chrip of the detector and quickly glance up at the mirror to see there's a car shooting us with laser from the rear at close range. We're going faster than the posted 45 MPH speed limit but no one gives chase. This is probably because the officer is getting an error message on the laser unit.

The other trick piece on this car is the laser jammer. More authorities are switching over to laser because it's more precise and, of course, no one wants to put a radiation stick in their crotch all day, so having a laser jammer is a big lifesaver if you have a lead foot.

When the cop shoots you with their gun it's typically sending out a few short beams of light and waiting to get them back in order to process the information and determine a speed. As soon as the sensors in the C63 sense the signal it automatically sends back the wrong data. For instance, if the laser gun sends five short beams of light at a car coming towards the officer, the car may send back three beams made to look is if the car is moving in the other direciton, thus causing an error.


After battling the traffic, and the cops, I drive the car out to a more secluded part of Miami. As opposed to the danger represented by driving quickly on crowded streets, the greatest threat we face is O.J. Simpson, who owns a house not too far from where we go to stretch the car's legs out.

Even without long stretches of open road it's clear this stealthy silver Benz can sprint. With the resonator delete, maybe stealthy isn't exactly the right word. There's a serious growl. And maybe the RENNtech logo splayed across the windshield and slicks on the back are a bit of a giveaway to the observant. But one moment you're at a stop sign and the next you're going 80 MPH. The company hasn't done official 0-60 testing yet, but with 465 Lb-Ft of torque, we imagine that figure is largely dependent on what kind of tires the car is wearing. Fitted with these slicks, getting the power down isn't too difficult.

The rest is easy, too. It was surprising how effortless it was to throw the car around as we rocketed through the neighborhood and across on-ramps. The stiffer suspension, strut tower brace and lower stance contribute to a solid feel without sacrificing much in the way of comfort over the road... assuming you're willing to go over bumps at an angle. Traction control works, thankfully, keeping the C63 off of the grass when the wheels spin faster than the gears in the driver's brain, as I learned first hand. Given the performance on tap, it's surprising that this tuner version can retain most of the stock C-Class's civility.

As this car is a mule, I'm not ready to pass judgment on the fit-and-finish. It looks good at a distance and, up close, any shortcomings are sort of endearing and show signs of serious use. RENNtech achieves a lot of gains through clever tuning of the car's ECU, which doesn't mean much until you see the rubber caked on the inside of the wheel well or hear it take off. Computer programmers FTW!

Back in traffic, the car melts back into the Mercedes mold, the incessant beeping of the mirror being the only obvious giveaway. There's no need to sacrifice anything if you want to play Hyde by day and Jekyll by night. That's not completely true. You'll need to fork over an as-of-yet determined chunk of change.

To further differentiate it from the lowly C63 AMG it's based on, a body kit is in the works. Nice as it might look with wider fenders, we think we prefer it the way it is, more sleeper than silly. As a work-in-progress this vehicle is still within the realm of gearheads, not the polished world of dentists who wanted to buy a toy with their dirty plaque money.

Uh, damn ! ! !

If you really loved me...

thx again Bits and Pieces

Hmmm...

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on “How Would You Fix the Economy?”

I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr.President,
Patriotic retirement:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million a piece severance with stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis fixed.

All this and it’s still cheaper than the “bailout”.

via Bits and Pieces

Damn cool...

From Scott Adams...

Pilot and Tech Support

We recently acquired a minivan. Half of my readers just mentally snorted at the wretched direction my life has taken. You pity me.

The other half of you have actually been inside a modern minivan. You know that a minivan is the mullet of automobiles, and by that I mean it is all business in the front, and a party in the back. It's a little slice of heaven on wheels. I love my minivan. Yeah, I said it.

We were forced to consider minivans because our Toyota Highlander had an annoying noise that wouldn't go away. It sounded roughly like "Mom, there isn't enough leg room! Make someone else sit in the back next time!" We tried turning up the volume on the radio to drown it out, but that was only partly successful. So we started looking at minivans.

After extensive shopping we narrowed our minivan choices to either a Honda or a Toyota. The Honda had an edge in back seat comfort, mileage, and console layout. But the Toyota salesman assured us that after a few years of use the Honda would rattle apart and spontaneously dissemble itself in our garage. He said we would one day come out to the garage and find nothing but a pile of parts, each one trying to crawl away from the others. The Toyota, by way of contrast, was built tight, our salesman explained. It would survive a nuclear attack without the tires getting out of alignment. This was all suspiciously difficult to verify, given that it involved the future. And Google was silent on this issue. So we went with the comfy back seats. It seemed the quieter option.

Our minivan is packed with so many features that it changes the entire driving paradigm. In the old model you had a driver and several passengers. Now you have a pilot and a full-time manager of tech support in the front, with several disgruntled users in the back. From the moment the humans enter the minivan, the manager of tech support gets busy. My wife, who I call Spock during family drives, is responsible for the navigation unit, synching the BlackBerry to the speaker system, adjusting the XM satellite stations, loading the DVD, instructing occupants about how to move seats, locking and unlocking doors, and so on. Her job is never done because the users never stop submitting change orders.

As pilot, I try to tune out everything but the sultry and sometimes scolding voice of the navigation unit. If I allow myself to get invested in the tangle of tech support and political issues bubbling over in the rest of the vehicle I will lose concentration and drive into a ravine. Although I'd be lying if I said it isn't a tempting option after the fifteenth change order gets submitted, just before I fire up the rear bumper video camera, and the distance sonar, and start backing out of the garage.

The XM satellite radio is a wonderful invention. It has an endless variety of music. But for reasons I haven't yet discerned, all we ever hear is Daughtry and Lady Gaga. I would be fine with this arrangement if Daughtry didn't sound like two mules dragging a barn door over crushed stones. I need to talk to Spock about that, but she is always buried in work orders.

My point is that minivans are wonderful. If you like Daughtry.

from Dilbert.com Blog

Mow the lawn...



From Bits and Pieces

Um, Wow.


Sitting 1400-feet above the green, Par 3 is touted as the world's most extreme golf hole. It even "requires a helicopter to reach the tee and a ball takes nearly 30 seconds to drop to the green below." Video after the break.

Playing all 19 holes runs about 2,000 South African rand, or about $220 in American bills, but for that you get the helicopter ride, plus a bunch of souvenir swag and a DVD of your shot.

Lip syncher busted ! ! !



I watched this one over and over and over ! ! ! !

White People Problems...Funny

Iowa?!? Really?!?!? Great ! ! !!

With California's supreme court considering exactly the same thing for pretty much exactly the same reasons this is good news.

Thanks Dan!!!

DES MOINES, Iowa – The Iowa Supreme Court issued a unanimous ruling Friday finding that the state's same-sex marriage ban violates the constitutional rights of gay and lesbian couples, making Iowa the third state where gay marriage is legal.
In its decision, the court upheld a 2007 district court judge's ruling that the law violates the state constitution. It strikes the language from Iowa code limiting marriage to only between a man a woman.
"The court reaffirmed that a statute inconsistent with the Iowa constitution must be declared void even though it may be supported by strong and deep-seated traditional beliefs and popular opinion," said a summary of the ruling issued by the court.

Link

Stupidity at its finest...



They're not helping the good old boy stereotype here at all.

Hmmm...



I'm not sure if it is horrible or genius but I can't stop looking at it.

Coolest Sleeping Bag EVER ! ! !


A Taun-Taun sleeping bag ! ! ! - This was an April fools joke from ThinkGeek !! !
Thought you'd like it.

Nightmare

Buying parts from AutoZone is often a lesson in anger management and a battle against incompetence. James, an AutoZone customer, attempted to purchase Ford 9" axle seals, but 45 minutes on hold forced his hand.
This is the kind of story which makes us pine for the old days of the neighborhood parts store with clerks who knew by heart the part number for valve seals from a GM 235 inline six and had a set in a shelf in the back. Here, our hero, James, regales us with a tale of inconceivably bad service; A 45 minute period on hold where he decided to get in the car, drive down to the store, and figure out what the hell was going on that made it so difficult for them to quote him a price for his seals. This is his story:
So I got an event coming up at the local track...should be a fairly fun event and I want to take the truck out. Well....a few weeks ago, due to my own stupidity, I blew my hub seals on my rear end...and due to me catching the fucking flu...and other shit...I never got around to fixing them. So this is the week OF and I need the damn seals, right?
So I call up AutoZone:
"Thank you for calling AutoZone, how can I help you?""Yeah, I'm looking for axle seals of a ford 9" rear end...""Oooh. umm...hold on a second...." and he puts me on hold.
....15 minutes later...someone ELSE picks up...
"...umm thank you for calling AutoZone, who are you holding for?""I'm holding for someone to help me find some axle seals...""Oh.. ummm. Huh.. hold on a second." and HE puts me on hold.
...10 minutes in, I'm getting pissed and I decide that this is a battle of wills. Them waiting for me to hang up....me waiting for them to get tired of the phone beeping and to pick up.
...10 MORE minutes....and I can feel my will about to give in completely to anger. FUCK THIS! While STILL on hold, I jump in my daily driver and drive my ass up to the AutoZone I'm on hold with!
I get there about 10 minutes later...and there's 4 fuckers working...and like two people shopping...and one of them hits me up instantly:
"Welcome to AutoZone, how can I help you?"...as I walk behind their counter to look for their phone...
"Yeah....do you have someone on hold right now?""Uh excuse me?"...I point at the blinking, beeping phone..."DO...YOU...HAVE...SOMEONE...ON...HOLD...RIGHT...NOW!?""Uhh...I guess so.""You guess so?? Let me help you. You DO have someone on hold...ME! I've been on hold for 45 fucking minutes! What in the HELL is THAT all about?? Can you give me one good reason why you've had me on hold for almost a fucking hour??""Well...uhh..I mean....uhhh...I was waiting for him (he points) to pick up..""He DID pick up...and put me right the fuck back on hold!"
"Uuhh..err....ahh...ummm...""Don't give me any bullshit about how busy you are...there's no one fucking in here! If my fucking question was simply too difficult for you, TELL me.""Well...what do you need sir?""What I needed was axle seals...but what I need NOW is to talk to YOUR fucking manager.""Yes sir."...and scampers off to get El Jefe....Manager: "Yes sir, what seems to be the problem?"
...I tell him, "....and I'm STILL on hold!" That's right...I still haven't hung up...
He looks at the phone....picks it up...and says, "Uhh Autzone, may I help you?"I yell into MY phone, "IT'S ME FUCKER!!!" He jumps and hangs up."I'm hoping that isn't your policy here! That if you CAN'T answer the question, just put the person on hold until they hang up?""Uh no sir!""Well lets see if y'all CAN help me...now that I'm here."He goes over to the computer...
I tell him, "I need axle seals for a 31 spline ford 9" rear end.""What's it out of?""Hell...i don't know? Almost any 70s ford truck I'm sure.""Well I need to know what it's out of.""I do not know...""Well what's it in now?""That's not gonna help you.""Sure it is""No...it won't. There's no way to search for the rear end?""No...so what's it in?""A 2001 CHEVY SILVERADO ok?? Does THAT help???""No.""See?"
He connected me with someone at another AutoZone that actually WAS helpful...and I went over there to get the parts...

Floop! GOAL ! ! ! !

From Mark Cuban - Yes, THAT Mark Cuban...

I work for a HUGEMUNGOUS software company and have been part of a couple mergers and layoffs, so I agree with Mark.

Fixing Executive Compensation


I have a simple question. Why are profitable companies laying off people ? I can see if a company’s survival is at stake. If payroll can’t be met. If debt can’t be paid. Then layoffs are a necessary evil. Even if companies have created cash flow deficits through their own mistakes, that’s the nature of business. Mistakes are made. What I have a problem with is that discussion of executive pay never includes whether or not the executive has been good enough to pre empt or prevent layoffs.
Executives are not stupid. Usually. They recognize that killing off employees can juice a stock price. Even in this market. Which in turn can juice the value of their options and compensation. At the companies I run, we have cut raises, put a freeze on hiring, done what we need to do, but we have done all we can to avoid layoffs. Why ? Because its the right thing to do. Its the patriotic thing to do. I’m selfish enough and arrogant enough to think that maybe if I pay attention to the big picture that I can impact the big picture.
As a shareholder, where possible, I would prefer that the companies I own shares in do the same thing.
I own stock in some firms whose backs are up against the wall because of debt. Unfortunately, they don’t have a choice but to cut jobs in order to save jobs. I understand this reality. It’s unfortunate, but a fact of life. I also own stock in firms that are profitable. Put a freeze on hiring. Put a freeze on all raises to employees of all levels, including yours. You don’t have to try to squeeze every nickel to the bottom line. I realize these are extrodinary times. I’m happy to accept a P/E ratio that is 20pct or 50pct higher (lower earnings vs the current price) . I want you to manage for the long term benefit of the company rather than manage to the stock price.
As the discussion on executive pay continues, my message is simple. Give credit to those executives who bust their asses to avoid layoffs except in cases where its an absolute necessity. Pay ‘em a premium vs those who cut jobs in profitable companies.
Capitalism isn’t about having the biggest bottom line for the current quarter. Capitalism is about individuals busting their asses to maximize value for shareholders. Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture in order to reap the biggest returns. Not all rewards are short term.

from blog maverick by markcuban

Holy crap on a cracker ! ! ! ! - This is hilarious...



The guy reminds me of my brother Franky

Thanks Longrooffan ! ! ! !