Nightmare Death

Stolen from Todd...

It seems that everybody wants to die in their sleep because that’s the “peaceful” way to go. People are afraid of dying in a car accident, or drowning, or getting eaten by a lion or some such, because it would be painful and scary. They think that a sleepy death would be all relaxing or something.
Fuck a lot of that. Don’t you people ever have nightmares? I’ll take a car accident any day of the week compared to actually dying when the giant spider bites my head off. That would suck ass!

I think that wherever you end up at after you die, you’ll probably remember your death. It’s a pretty major part of your life, after all. I don’t want to be neurotic in the afterlife just because the Easter Bunny painted me stupid colors, cut me up into little pieces, then stuck my dismembered body into an Easter basket and fed me to a bunch of rabid baby bunny rabbits.
Good luck moving past that one.

Heavenly Host: “Why is Todd so tweaky all the time? He always flies into shit.”
God: “Nightmare death”
Heavenly Host: “Aaaaahhhhhhh. Poor guy.”
God: “Ya. It was a mutant clown that shot poisonous spiders out of its mouth.”
Heavenly Host: “Oh, snap!”
I’ll pass, thanks.
Posted by Todd Erven