McClane 2008

Why John McClane?
Why Not? John McClane is a Badass. He’s an American. He doesn’t take shit from terrorists. He smokes. He crawls through air conditioning ducts. He’s a lover AND a fighter. So, shouldn’t we, The United States of America, have someone like John McClane in office? He would be the perfect leader of the free world. He would bitch-slap everyone that pisses him off. He won’t lie to our faces, he’ll tell it like it is. He wears his heart upon his sleeve, when he’s wearing sleeves. He’s not afraid of a little blood. Whether it’s his or a shitty terrorist’s. He has a squinty seriousness about him. He’s got a tattoo, too. Yeah, he’s a goddamn American and he’s goddamn proud of it. America needs John McClane. So, citizens of the free world… rise up and embrace the future of America.

John McClane.

He takes shit from no one. Ever.