For Matt...

Chuck Norris’ dick is so big it has it’s own dick…..
and that dick is still bigget than yours.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the fisrt date… Always.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is a creationist because he KNOWS. He is the creator!

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, he ate an Indian earlier this week.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.