For Jess and Sara...
SEATTLE – Three school districts and a coalition of charter schools have agreed to be test kitchens for some radical ideas for improving teacher quality — from paying new teachers to spend another year practicing before getting their own class to letting student test scores affect teacher pay.
In exchange, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation is handing them the biggest pile of cash it has spent on education reform in about a decade. The Gates Foundation was created in 2000 by the Microsoft chairman and his wife.
The foundation announced $290 million in grants to the four groups on Thursday, plus another $45 million for education research aimed at uncovering what exactly is an effective teacher.
The grants include $100 million to Hillsborough County Public Schools in Tampa, Fla., $90 million to Memphis City Schools, $60 million to a coalition of charter school organizations in Los Angeles, and $40 million to Pittsburgh Public Schools.
Vicki Phillips, director of the foundation's K-12 education program, said the investment is big, the ideas are bold and she hopes the impact could rock every school and every district in the nation.
The foundation purposely picked four diverse organizations to work with: from the four corners of the U.S., of a variety of sizes and ethnic mixes, all with existing problems and some successes meeting the educational needs of their students.
A fifth district was in line to join the others, but Omaha Public Schools dropped out at the last minute after decided it could not meet the matching requirement of the grant during these tough economic times.
Smaller grants to other districts will be announced later, Phillips said.
The various reform projects have a number of central themes.
They will focus on teacher training, put the best teachers in the most challenging classrooms, give the best teachers new roles as mentors and coaches while keeping them in front of children, make tenure a meaningful milestone, get rid of ineffective teachers, and use money to motivate people and schools to move toward these goals.
"If you could boil what we know in education down to one sentence, it truly would be, 'Nothing is as important as an effective teacher,'" Phillips said.
MaryEllen Elia, superintendent in Hillsborough County, believes these experiments will be closely watched by everyone running a school district.
If the results are close to expectations, other districts won't have a choice but to find the money to make similar changes, she said.
"We owe it to the children," Elia said.
She hopes her Tampa district can set an example for other large districts dealing with similar challenges. It's the eighth largest in the nation with 190,000 students spread out over an area the size of Rhode Island.
Kriner Cash, superintendent in Memphis, expects to be watched very closely by everyone who cares about equal opportunity. In his district, 86 percent of the 108,915 students are African American and 83 percent are eligible for free or reduced-price lunch.
"All professionals involved in guiding and educating children have a stake in this work," Cash said.
In exchange, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation is handing them the biggest pile of cash it has spent on education reform in about a decade. The Gates Foundation was created in 2000 by the Microsoft chairman and his wife.
The foundation announced $290 million in grants to the four groups on Thursday, plus another $45 million for education research aimed at uncovering what exactly is an effective teacher.
The grants include $100 million to Hillsborough County Public Schools in Tampa, Fla., $90 million to Memphis City Schools, $60 million to a coalition of charter school organizations in Los Angeles, and $40 million to Pittsburgh Public Schools.
Vicki Phillips, director of the foundation's K-12 education program, said the investment is big, the ideas are bold and she hopes the impact could rock every school and every district in the nation.
The foundation purposely picked four diverse organizations to work with: from the four corners of the U.S., of a variety of sizes and ethnic mixes, all with existing problems and some successes meeting the educational needs of their students.
A fifth district was in line to join the others, but Omaha Public Schools dropped out at the last minute after decided it could not meet the matching requirement of the grant during these tough economic times.
Smaller grants to other districts will be announced later, Phillips said.
The various reform projects have a number of central themes.
They will focus on teacher training, put the best teachers in the most challenging classrooms, give the best teachers new roles as mentors and coaches while keeping them in front of children, make tenure a meaningful milestone, get rid of ineffective teachers, and use money to motivate people and schools to move toward these goals.
"If you could boil what we know in education down to one sentence, it truly would be, 'Nothing is as important as an effective teacher,'" Phillips said.
MaryEllen Elia, superintendent in Hillsborough County, believes these experiments will be closely watched by everyone running a school district.
If the results are close to expectations, other districts won't have a choice but to find the money to make similar changes, she said.
"We owe it to the children," Elia said.
She hopes her Tampa district can set an example for other large districts dealing with similar challenges. It's the eighth largest in the nation with 190,000 students spread out over an area the size of Rhode Island.
Kriner Cash, superintendent in Memphis, expects to be watched very closely by everyone who cares about equal opportunity. In his district, 86 percent of the 108,915 students are African American and 83 percent are eligible for free or reduced-price lunch.
"All professionals involved in guiding and educating children have a stake in this work," Cash said.
Damn crazy video game
There’s a scene in the Call of duty modern warfare that’s getting a lot of controversial press, and I’ll explain why. The scene, referred to as “No Russian” or simply “The Airport Scene” takes place in Zakhaev International Airport in Moscow. As I understand it, you’re undercover with a handful of Russian mercenaries who walk toward the security checkpoint in an airport with scores of people waiting in line…and basically shoot everyone in sight. Here’s video of that sequence in the game, and to say that it’s pretty graphic might be the understatement of the year. The insanity begins at the 1:50 mark.
Damn good looking game. I need this for my wii.
Gotta get me one of these...
SoundRacer plugs into your cigarette lighter and transmits rev-matched fake V8 or V10 engine sounds via FM radio making your car sound exotic, when it isn't. Alternately, it could help prevent electric cars from being silent killers.
From the Kool-aid man,,,
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's
birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says,
"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on
sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of
it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that
sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is
really embarrassed,
About then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she
who tooted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The
man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you just tell
me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies," Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call
is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50."
birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says,
"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on
sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of
it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that
sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is
really embarrassed,
About then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she
who tooted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The
man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you just tell
me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies," Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call
is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50."
Urban art
Project Title: Untitled
Recipient Organization: 509 Cultural Center/Luggage Store
Lead Artist: Barry McGee
Genre and Date Awarded: Visual Arts, December 1994
Completed: May 1998
Artist Barry McGee collaborated with the 509 Cultural Center to create a site-specific permanent public artwork on the four inset walls of a building located at Sixth and Howard Streets in San Francisco—an area undergoing redevelopment over the last decade and one that has long been home to low-income seniors, deteriorating single room occupancy hotels, bars, and Filipino immigrant families. McGee, well-known as “Twist”—the creator of many temporary, ephemeral public pieces—proposed this as his first permanent mural. Collaborating with the 509 Cultural Center and the neighbors in the building’s vicinity, McGee created images that were closely tied to the site and its characters. The mural was completed and dedicated in late spring 1998.
The piece consisted of four 64 foot by 8 foot metal trays fitted to and installed on the inset walls. Large portraits along with smaller, more intimate renderings were enameled and spray painted over the metal surfaces. The panels then were bolted to the inset walls.
When he embarked on this project, Barry McGee intended to work on a building located at Leavenworth and Turk streets in San Francisco’s Tenderloin—a neighborhood where the 509 Cultural Center sponsors many projects. However, the collaborators encountered unanticipated resistance from the building’s absentee owners and similar problems when they tried to move to different, nearby buildings. While the South of Market’s Sixth Street corridor, where the project was eventually produced, has a similar demographic profile to the Tenderloin, it has long been a neighborhood where alternative arts organizations and projects clustered. There the collaborators found a receptive building owner.
The site approval effort took longer than anticipated, but more dramatic was the project’s ultimate outcome. McGee completed and installed the four panels by May 1998. Their installation was celebrated with a party with the neighbors surrounding the building. A few days later, one of the panels was stolen. McGee re-painted and replaced it and reinforced the bolts on the entire piece. In November 1999, the entire project was stolen. San Francisco Chronicle reporter Eric Brazil claimed “For sheer heft and volume, the great South of Market mural theft is a candidate for The Guinness Book of World Records.” ArtWeek commented in its January 2000 issue, “The robbery is an unfortunate example of a public artwork falling into private hands. McGee’s popularity, coupled with the high prices that his pieces command, has supporters worried that the stolen mural might be intended for sale in the art market.” It has not been recovered.
At the time of undertaking this project, Barry McGee had produced a large body of temporary and ephemeral work in spray enamel. He also had been part of several gallery exhibitions (at Center for the Arts at Yerba Buena Gardens and the San Jose Museum of Art in Northern California; Museu Lasar Segall in São Paulo, Brazil; and other venues) in which he attempted to “‘bring stimuli from the outside in,’ constantly recreating and reinventing the ‘eternal wall,’ using spray enamel, mixed media, and found objects.” He also had spent seven months in São Paulo Brazil, working with young street artists through a grant from the Lila Wallace-Reader’s Digest Fund/Arts International. Upon his return, he collaborated with the 509 Cultural Center’s teens and homeless residents on a temporary wall in the Sixth Street Corridor of the South of Market in San Francisco.
The 509 Cultural Center is a Tenderloin/Sixth Street-based arts and cultural organization, which seeks to enrich and empower the cultural lives of the ethnically diverse, predominantly low-income residents of its neighborhood. It produces public art projects, gallery exhibitions, performances by new and emerging artists, and an apprenticeship training program. It also serves as a drug and alcohol free space for meetings, workshops, rehearsals, recitals, and discussions.
haahahahaha
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.......
I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' Call Center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Thanks Ken
I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' Call Center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Thanks Ken
Man Stories - from Bradlito
1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a
shit".
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to
forgive me.
3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out
"get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did
this to me you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember,
I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "it'll be too painful."
4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and
she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor,
Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at
me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came
all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
One Monday morning the UPS guy is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles..
"Wow. Bob", looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that's when we started playing "WHO AM I."
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play "WHO AM I?"
"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet.then the women try to guess who it is."
The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a
shit".
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to
forgive me.
3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out
"get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did
this to me you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember,
I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "it'll be too painful."
4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and
she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor,
Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
6. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at
me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came
all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
One Monday morning the UPS guy is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles..
"Wow. Bob", looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that's when we started playing "WHO AM I."
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play "WHO AM I?"
"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet.then the women try to guess who it is."
The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."
The only good thing about this kind of weather...
It's storming here now but at least I can prowl around looking for people to "Foosh".
Uh, damn ! ! !
Army Reservist Staff Sgt. Brett Bennethum was ordered to Iraq in July. His four-year-old daughter Paige had a hard time letting go, so much that she held onto his hand in formation. No one, including the commanding officer, had the heart to pull her away. The picture of the incident, taken by Paige’s mother, has gone viral and touched people all over the country.
Spotted ! !
A bumper sticker spotted today by my Brother-in-law Dave (The Chairborne Ranger) on an older Suburban...
I SURVIVED CASH FOR CLUNKERS!!!
Get one Here
I SURVIVED CASH FOR CLUNKERS!!!
Get one Here
Hmmm...
Ever wondered how atom bombs and fissile material crisscross the United States? They do so in blue trucks called Safeguards Transporters.
As revealed by a Freedom of Information Act request, finished nukes, their parts and fissile material like plutonium and highly enriched uranium are transported in these unmarked 18-wheelers operated by the Department of Energy. If you untangle the bureaucratese, the trucks appear to have locks on them:
[The Safeguards Transporter is a] specially designed part of an 18-wheel rig that incorporates various deterrents to prevent unauthorized removal of cargo.
Should you run for your life if you see the truck pictured jackknife? If you believe the government, you’re perfectly okay:
The thermal characteristics of the [transporter] would allow the trailer to be totally engulfed in a fire without incurring damage to the cargo. The tractors are standard production units that have been modified to provide the federal agents protection against attack. Escort vehicles accompany the tractor-trailers during transportation activities.
You may be alarmed at what is perhaps a brusque and condescending tone from the DoE when it comes to such serious matters, but as evidenced by the lack of a nuclear attack on a civilian population since World World II, nukes are very, very hard to get. Even in parts of the world not known for running their trains on time.
As revealed by a Freedom of Information Act request, finished nukes, their parts and fissile material like plutonium and highly enriched uranium are transported in these unmarked 18-wheelers operated by the Department of Energy. If you untangle the bureaucratese, the trucks appear to have locks on them:
[The Safeguards Transporter is a] specially designed part of an 18-wheel rig that incorporates various deterrents to prevent unauthorized removal of cargo.
Should you run for your life if you see the truck pictured jackknife? If you believe the government, you’re perfectly okay:
The thermal characteristics of the [transporter] would allow the trailer to be totally engulfed in a fire without incurring damage to the cargo. The tractors are standard production units that have been modified to provide the federal agents protection against attack. Escort vehicles accompany the tractor-trailers during transportation activities.
You may be alarmed at what is perhaps a brusque and condescending tone from the DoE when it comes to such serious matters, but as evidenced by the lack of a nuclear attack on a civilian population since World World II, nukes are very, very hard to get. Even in parts of the world not known for running their trains on time.
Last run...
Jerome Miller loved drag racing, running an AMC Concord until he was 56 and attending races religiously until his death. His family arranged to have his hearse make one final run down his home track — his casket on board.
Miller was a racer from the start, joining the ranks of drag racers in the 1950s and racing at various levels for forty years. He took time off to raise a family, and took his boys to the track on almost every weekend there was racing, lending a hand and talking cars with all who would have it. When the nest emptied, he ran an AMC Concord until an aneurysm limited his sight, and even then he kept going to the track, even attending the Labor Day races this year. He was considered a pillar of the racing community at Great Lakes Dragway in Union Grove, Wisconsin. He died last Tuesday, and as a fitting tribute, his family arranged to have the hearse bearing his casket take him on one last run down strip. The time wasn't great, 45 seconds at 27 mph, but a fellow racer, upon discovering what was going on, said "So they took him on his last pass. Cool. That's cool."
Miller was a racer from the start, joining the ranks of drag racers in the 1950s and racing at various levels for forty years. He took time off to raise a family, and took his boys to the track on almost every weekend there was racing, lending a hand and talking cars with all who would have it. When the nest emptied, he ran an AMC Concord until an aneurysm limited his sight, and even then he kept going to the track, even attending the Labor Day races this year. He was considered a pillar of the racing community at Great Lakes Dragway in Union Grove, Wisconsin. He died last Tuesday, and as a fitting tribute, his family arranged to have the hearse bearing his casket take him on one last run down strip. The time wasn't great, 45 seconds at 27 mph, but a fellow racer, upon discovering what was going on, said "So they took him on his last pass. Cool. That's cool."
via Jalopnik
5 Theme Park Rides That Pushed the Limits of Common Sense
When I watched the Kingda Ka coaster vid I subconciously pressed my head back in to the sofa cushion in preparation for the launch.
Thanks Darrell!!!!
------
Thrill rides are designed to trick our bodies and brains into thinking we are in mortal danger. And usually it is just that—a trick that causes an exhilarating surge in our adrenaline levels. But in the quest for bigger and better thrills, some rides attempt to betray the laws of physics. And while these rides are usually well-designed, safe attractions—just so big and awe-inspiring that they are frightening—some of them are simply dangerous. Here are five of the biggest, baddest and scariest rides of all time.
Link
Thanks Darrell!!!!
------
Thrill rides are designed to trick our bodies and brains into thinking we are in mortal danger. And usually it is just that—a trick that causes an exhilarating surge in our adrenaline levels. But in the quest for bigger and better thrills, some rides attempt to betray the laws of physics. And while these rides are usually well-designed, safe attractions—just so big and awe-inspiring that they are frightening—some of them are simply dangerous. Here are five of the biggest, baddest and scariest rides of all time.
Link
Longrooffan has a new blog for me to steal good stuff from!!!
Hmmm...
I love these. The numbers are always suspect but the point is still the same. Guns WILL be in the hands of criminals no matter what we do but there is no sane reason to disarm the law abiding Americans who wish to bear arms.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A LITTLE GUN HISTORY
In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control... From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
-----------------------------
Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.
------------------------------
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own Government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:
List of 7 items:
Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2%.
Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6%.
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44% (yes, 44 percent)! In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300%. Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not, and criminals still possess their guns!
While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.
There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the ELDERLY.
Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort, and expense was expended in successfully ridding Australian society of guns. The Australian experience and the other historical facts above prove it.
You won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians disseminating this information.
Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws adversely affect only the law-abiding citizens.
Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late! The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson.
With guns, we are 'citizens.'
Without them, we are 'subjects'.
During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.
SWITZERLAND ISSUES EVERY HOUSEHOLD A GUN!
SWITZERLAND'S GOVERNMENT TRAINS EVERY ADULT THEY ISSUE A RIFLE.
SWITZERLAND HAS THE LOWEST GUN RELATED CRIME RATE OF ANY CIVILIZED COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!!
Thanks Longrooffan!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A LITTLE GUN HISTORY
In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control... From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
-----------------------------
Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.
------------------------------
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own Government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:
List of 7 items:
Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2%.
Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6%.
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44% (yes, 44 percent)! In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300%. Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not, and criminals still possess their guns!
While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.
There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the ELDERLY.
Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort, and expense was expended in successfully ridding Australian society of guns. The Australian experience and the other historical facts above prove it.
You won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians disseminating this information.
Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws adversely affect only the law-abiding citizens.
Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late! The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson.
With guns, we are 'citizens.'
Without them, we are 'subjects'.
During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.
SWITZERLAND ISSUES EVERY HOUSEHOLD A GUN!
SWITZERLAND'S GOVERNMENT TRAINS EVERY ADULT THEY ISSUE A RIFLE.
SWITZERLAND HAS THE LOWEST GUN RELATED CRIME RATE OF ANY CIVILIZED COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!!
Thanks Longrooffan!!!
Cash for Clunkers - The POSITIVE results:
It has taken thousands of Obama stickers off the road!!!!
From The Longrooffan!!!
More great stuff HERE!!
From The Longrooffan!!!
More great stuff HERE!!
Hmmm...
One of our London underwriters came into town a couple of weeks ago and my brother and I took him out for a night of Seattle drinking. *Note to self... next time drink much, MUCH slower* I'll refer to him as "Bloke" from here on out.
After a few beers Bloke said: "Alright boys, I've just come from New York where everyone I talked to told me how evil Obama is and how he's trying to set up Death Panels in America. What's your take?"
Here was my summarized response.
"Lets leave the whole Democrat/Republican thing off the table and let me ask you a question. Bloke, if you managed to cut the back of your hand and need 4-5 stitches, would you go to the hospital?"
"Of course I would!"
"How much would it cost to get your hand stitched up, Bloke?"
"Nothing."
"Well, here (if you can't afford insurance) it would cost between $1,000 and $1,500."
"What the fuck? Are you serious?"
"Yep. Now I HAVE insurance which costs my company $270 a month for just me. If I went to get my hand stitched up, it would only cost me about $500-$600."
Needless to say, Bloke was a bit flabbergasted as he's used to paying fuck all for the same procedure. I then gave him some more numbers.
I told him that, without insurance, a MRI would cost him about $2,500.
A trip to the ER to find out if your wife has pneumonia would be about $700 and about a 6 hour ordeal.
A childbirth? That's about 10 grand.
Are you real sick and need an ambulance? Woah now, how sick are you? Because that ambulance ride is gonna cost between $500 and $1,000.
If they try to give you an asprin? Tell them to go fuck themselves as they will charge you between $20 and $40 for that single pill.
What if you're in some remote area and get hurt? Should you let them rescue you in a helicopter? Why not, it's only about $30,000. You might try to hike down the mountain with the broken leg before you pick up that phone.
Oh, unless you have money. If you make $250,000+ a year, then it probably won't matter to you as much. Or if you're poor. If you don't have any money then go ahead and pick up the phone, you won't be paying for shit anyway. If you're middle class though or are slightly above the poverty line? Welcome to Fucksville.
Don't be depressed though, Bloke. There's a good chance that you'll get a job for a company that offers cheap medical coverage, cheap being about $100-$200 a month. Although, there's also a good chance that you work for a very small company or are self-employed. In that case, than I suggest you get a second job at Starbucks. You have to hit 20 hours a week to be eligible for their benefit plan. 3 shots, extra caramel in mine please.
You can buy health insurance on your own of course. I'm 27 years old and in good health, no smoking, etc. Three years ago I was paying about $150 a month for my insurance, oh plus another $150 for my wife. Today? I'm paying $270 a month for the same fucking insurance plan. My wife, that's another $270.
My friend is 28, married with 2 children. I think their 3rd child will be free but they pay $270 for the first and second. That's $1080 a month. Their mortgage is about $1,300 a month.
Oh, and they still gotta pay the first $500 per person for anything not "preventive". That means that they will basically be paying another $500 per person by the end of the year, at least.
Total medical costs for the family for the year? About $15,000. If nothing really major comes up, like a broken leg or cancer. Oh, plus whatever their prescriptions cost.
I told him to make of that what he will.
Bloke thought that the whole situation seemed a "little" messed up and mentioned that his socialized health care didn't seem so bad. I wholeheartedly agreed. We went back to drinking.
So what's the problem with health care in this country?
I think the answer is pretty simple. It's too damned expensive! $1,500 to have some fool in tiger-striped scrubs clean out a cut and put in 5 stitches. It doesn't matter who picks up the tab, whether its you or all of your countrymen put together. It's too much fucking money!
Why is it too expensive? Is the medical system corrupt or just fucked up? I don't know the answer to that but here's a little story for you:
A guy gets hurt on a fishing boat. Claims he hurt his back while pulling up some line. No worries, P&I coverage will take care of that. The hospitals in Alaska say that it's better to go to San Fransisco to get this operation done. Off to San Fransisco! Blah blah blah, his back eventually gets fixed.
The bill arrives at my office. It's slightly over $700,000. Oh. That's kind of a lot of money. Especially since my client's coverage limits were $500,000. So now he's probably gonna lose his boat, and maybe his house.
We can't have that happening! Lets turn the bill over to our adjuster who, in turn, hands it over to a medical bill review company. They examine the bill, call the hospital and start negotiating. A couple of days later we get the revised bill in the mail. New total? About $200,000.
...
Anyone manage to catch the potential issue that I have with our current medical system?
Where the fuck did that $500,000 go? And why the fuck was the hospital charging it in the first place? I don't know. I'm not a medical bill review company. What I DO KNOW, is if that had been you or me who called protesting OUR $700,000 bill? The hospital would have kindly offered a payment plan and said, "We know it's hard; we're sorry."
Well, there's the problem. How do you fix it? Hell if I know. I'll let the smart people figure that one out.
Can't have the government step in though. That's Socialist! That's Communist! The Reds are gonna eat out children and then sit on Death Panels!!!"
***NEWSFLASH***
We're basically Socialist as is.
My buddy cut the back of his hand a few weeks ago. 5 Stitches. $1,500. He didn't pay shit. Know why? Because he's poor, so the government paid for it.
I knew a girl who managed to get knocked up by a felon. What did it cost to bring her little felon into the world? Nothing. Because she's poor, so the government paid for it.
Why don't we at least make it official so we can tax their asses for it?
That's it, I'm done for the day. I need caffeine.
Oh, by the way. If you wanna bitch at me about the numbers I'm throwing out, go ahead. I see more medical bills pass through my office each month than most people see in a lifetime. I assign adjusters,on a weekly basis, to handle the weirdest shit you've ever seen. My office SELLS medical insurance to individuals and to groups, such as the friggin police departments and fire fighters. So go swivel.
Magic Apathy Ball
After a few beers Bloke said: "Alright boys, I've just come from New York where everyone I talked to told me how evil Obama is and how he's trying to set up Death Panels in America. What's your take?"
Here was my summarized response.
"Lets leave the whole Democrat/Republican thing off the table and let me ask you a question. Bloke, if you managed to cut the back of your hand and need 4-5 stitches, would you go to the hospital?"
"Of course I would!"
"How much would it cost to get your hand stitched up, Bloke?"
"Nothing."
"Well, here (if you can't afford insurance) it would cost between $1,000 and $1,500."
"What the fuck? Are you serious?"
"Yep. Now I HAVE insurance which costs my company $270 a month for just me. If I went to get my hand stitched up, it would only cost me about $500-$600."
Needless to say, Bloke was a bit flabbergasted as he's used to paying fuck all for the same procedure. I then gave him some more numbers.
I told him that, without insurance, a MRI would cost him about $2,500.
A trip to the ER to find out if your wife has pneumonia would be about $700 and about a 6 hour ordeal.
A childbirth? That's about 10 grand.
Are you real sick and need an ambulance? Woah now, how sick are you? Because that ambulance ride is gonna cost between $500 and $1,000.
If they try to give you an asprin? Tell them to go fuck themselves as they will charge you between $20 and $40 for that single pill.
What if you're in some remote area and get hurt? Should you let them rescue you in a helicopter? Why not, it's only about $30,000. You might try to hike down the mountain with the broken leg before you pick up that phone.
Oh, unless you have money. If you make $250,000+ a year, then it probably won't matter to you as much. Or if you're poor. If you don't have any money then go ahead and pick up the phone, you won't be paying for shit anyway. If you're middle class though or are slightly above the poverty line? Welcome to Fucksville.
Don't be depressed though, Bloke. There's a good chance that you'll get a job for a company that offers cheap medical coverage, cheap being about $100-$200 a month. Although, there's also a good chance that you work for a very small company or are self-employed. In that case, than I suggest you get a second job at Starbucks. You have to hit 20 hours a week to be eligible for their benefit plan. 3 shots, extra caramel in mine please.
You can buy health insurance on your own of course. I'm 27 years old and in good health, no smoking, etc. Three years ago I was paying about $150 a month for my insurance, oh plus another $150 for my wife. Today? I'm paying $270 a month for the same fucking insurance plan. My wife, that's another $270.
My friend is 28, married with 2 children. I think their 3rd child will be free but they pay $270 for the first and second. That's $1080 a month. Their mortgage is about $1,300 a month.
Oh, and they still gotta pay the first $500 per person for anything not "preventive". That means that they will basically be paying another $500 per person by the end of the year, at least.
Total medical costs for the family for the year? About $15,000. If nothing really major comes up, like a broken leg or cancer. Oh, plus whatever their prescriptions cost.
I told him to make of that what he will.
Bloke thought that the whole situation seemed a "little" messed up and mentioned that his socialized health care didn't seem so bad. I wholeheartedly agreed. We went back to drinking.
So what's the problem with health care in this country?
I think the answer is pretty simple. It's too damned expensive! $1,500 to have some fool in tiger-striped scrubs clean out a cut and put in 5 stitches. It doesn't matter who picks up the tab, whether its you or all of your countrymen put together. It's too much fucking money!
Why is it too expensive? Is the medical system corrupt or just fucked up? I don't know the answer to that but here's a little story for you:
A guy gets hurt on a fishing boat. Claims he hurt his back while pulling up some line. No worries, P&I coverage will take care of that. The hospitals in Alaska say that it's better to go to San Fransisco to get this operation done. Off to San Fransisco! Blah blah blah, his back eventually gets fixed.
The bill arrives at my office. It's slightly over $700,000. Oh. That's kind of a lot of money. Especially since my client's coverage limits were $500,000. So now he's probably gonna lose his boat, and maybe his house.
We can't have that happening! Lets turn the bill over to our adjuster who, in turn, hands it over to a medical bill review company. They examine the bill, call the hospital and start negotiating. A couple of days later we get the revised bill in the mail. New total? About $200,000.
...
Anyone manage to catch the potential issue that I have with our current medical system?
Where the fuck did that $500,000 go? And why the fuck was the hospital charging it in the first place? I don't know. I'm not a medical bill review company. What I DO KNOW, is if that had been you or me who called protesting OUR $700,000 bill? The hospital would have kindly offered a payment plan and said, "We know it's hard; we're sorry."
Well, there's the problem. How do you fix it? Hell if I know. I'll let the smart people figure that one out.
Can't have the government step in though. That's Socialist! That's Communist! The Reds are gonna eat out children and then sit on Death Panels!!!"
***NEWSFLASH***
We're basically Socialist as is.
My buddy cut the back of his hand a few weeks ago. 5 Stitches. $1,500. He didn't pay shit. Know why? Because he's poor, so the government paid for it.
I knew a girl who managed to get knocked up by a felon. What did it cost to bring her little felon into the world? Nothing. Because she's poor, so the government paid for it.
Why don't we at least make it official so we can tax their asses for it?
That's it, I'm done for the day. I need caffeine.
Oh, by the way. If you wanna bitch at me about the numbers I'm throwing out, go ahead. I see more medical bills pass through my office each month than most people see in a lifetime. I assign adjusters,on a weekly basis, to handle the weirdest shit you've ever seen. My office SELLS medical insurance to individuals and to groups, such as the friggin police departments and fire fighters. So go swivel.
Magic Apathy Ball
Behind the scenes at Antiques Roadshow
Ever wonder how Antiques Roadshow really works? How they pick who gets on TV? Whether the people on the show have fun? Whether the appraisers really know what they’re talking about?
Link to the article
Link to the article
"Redneck Vasectomy"
After having their 11th child, an Arkansas couple decided that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So her husband went to his veterinarian and told him that his cousin didn't want to have anymore children. His doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it and put it in a beer can, then hold it can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Arkansas man said to the doctor "I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear and counting to 10 is gonna help me." "Trust me" said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held it up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the can between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand.
The Arkansas man said to the doctor "I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear and counting to 10 is gonna help me." "Trust me" said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held it up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the can between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand.
Windows 7 - CHEAP ! ! ! !
If you have a .edu or know someone with a .edu email address you can get a $300.00 license for windows 7 for 29.99!!!
http://www.win741.com/
http://www.win741.com/
Sad...
Patrick Swayze has died after a nearly two-year battle with pancreatic cancer.
Swayze's publicist Annett Wolf says the 57-year-old "Dirty Dancing" actor died Monday with family at his side. He came forward about his illness last spring, but continued working as he underwent treatments.
In 1987 Swayze became a star with his performance in "Dirty Dancing," a coming-of-age story set in a Catskills resort. The 1990 film "Ghost" cemented his status as a screen favorite.
He kept on working even after it was disclosed in March 2008 that he had a particularly deadly form of cancer. He starred in "The Beast," an A&E drama series, and said he and his wife were working on a memoir.
Swayze's publicist Annett Wolf says the 57-year-old "Dirty Dancing" actor died Monday with family at his side. He came forward about his illness last spring, but continued working as he underwent treatments.
In 1987 Swayze became a star with his performance in "Dirty Dancing," a coming-of-age story set in a Catskills resort. The 1990 film "Ghost" cemented his status as a screen favorite.
He kept on working even after it was disclosed in March 2008 that he had a particularly deadly form of cancer. He starred in "The Beast," an A&E drama series, and said he and his wife were working on a memoir.
Hoist one...
Phil Collins yesterday revealed he will never play the drums again because of a spine injury.The star says he can no longer even hold his drum sticks because sitting at a kit is too painful.Phil, 58, said: "I've got a condition that means I can't play any more. After playing drums for 50 years, I've had to stop."Obviously I'm very sad about it. My vertebrae has been crushing my spinal cord because of the position I drum in."It comes from years of playing. I can't even hold the sticks properly without it being painful."I even used to tape the sticks to my hands to get through. But don't worry, I can still sing."
Interesting
On September 8, 2009, United States District Judge Bruce D. Black of the United States District Court for New Mexico entered summary judgment in a civil case for damages against Alamogordo, NM police officers. The Judge's straight shootin' message to police: Leave open carriers alone unless you have "reason to believe that a crime [is] afoot."
The facts of the case are pretty simple. Matthew St. John entered an Alamogordo movie theater as a paying customer and sat down to enjoy the movie. He was openly carrying a holstered handgun, conduct which is legal in 42 states, and requires no license in New Mexico and twenty-five other states.
In response to a call from theater manager Robert Zigmond, the police entered the movie theater, physically seized Mr. St. John from his seat, took him outside, disarmed him, searched him, obtained personally identifiable information from his wallet, and only allowed him to re-enter the theater after St. John agreed to secure his gun in his vehicle. Mr. St. John was never suspected of any crime nor issued a summons for violating any law.
Importantly, no theater employee ever ordered Mr. St. John to leave. The police apparently simply decided to act as agents of the movie theater to enforce a private rule of conduct and not to enforce any rule of law.
On these facts, Judge Black concluded as a matter of law that the police violated Matthew St. John's constitutional rights under the Fourth Amendment because they seized and disarmed him even though there was not "any reason to believe that a crime was afoot." Judge Black's opinion is consistent with numerous high state and federal appellate courts, e.g., the United States Supreme Court in Florida v. J.L. (2000) (detaining man on mere report that he has a gun violates the Fourth Amendment) and the Washington Appeals Court in State v. Casad (2004) (detaining man observed by police as openly carrying rifles on a public street violates the Fourth Amendment).
Mr. St. John's attorney, Miguel Garcia, of Alamogordo, NM was pleased with the ruling and look forward to the next phase of the litigation which is a jury trial to establish the amount of damages, and possibly punitive damages. Garcia said that
"[i]t was great to see the Court carefully consider the issues presented by both sides and conclude that the U.S. Constitution prohibits the government from detaining and searching individuals solely for exercising their rights to possess a firearm as guaranteed by our state and federal constitutions."
Notably, Judge Black denied the police officers' requested "qualified immunity," a judicially created doctrine allowing government officials acting in good faith to avoid liability for violating the law where the law was not "clearly established." In this case, Judge Black concluded that
"[r]elying on well-defined Supreme Court precedent, the Tenth Circuit and its sister courts have consistently held that officers may not seize or search an individual without a specific, legitimate reason. . . . The applicable law was equally clear in this case. Nothing in New Mexico law prohibited Mr. St. John from openly carrying a firearm in the Theater. Accordingly, Mr. St. John's motion for summary judgment is granted with regard to his Fourth Amendment and New Mexico constitutional claims. Defendants' motion for summary judgment is denied with regard to the same and with regard to qualified immunity."
Judge Black's opinion and order is welcome news for the growing number of open carriers across the United States. Though police harassment of open carriers is rare, it's not yet as rare as it should be - over the last several years open carriers detained without cause by police have sued and obtained cash settlements in Pennsylvania, Louisiana, Virginia (see additional settlement here), and Georgia. More cases are still pending in Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania.
Judge Black's opinion and order can be read here.
NOTE: Mathew St. John's attorney, Miguel Garcia, is an associate at John R. Hakanson PC, 307 11th St., Alamogordo, NM 88310 and can be reached at Miguelo.Garcia AT gmail.com.
The facts of the case are pretty simple. Matthew St. John entered an Alamogordo movie theater as a paying customer and sat down to enjoy the movie. He was openly carrying a holstered handgun, conduct which is legal in 42 states, and requires no license in New Mexico and twenty-five other states.
In response to a call from theater manager Robert Zigmond, the police entered the movie theater, physically seized Mr. St. John from his seat, took him outside, disarmed him, searched him, obtained personally identifiable information from his wallet, and only allowed him to re-enter the theater after St. John agreed to secure his gun in his vehicle. Mr. St. John was never suspected of any crime nor issued a summons for violating any law.
Importantly, no theater employee ever ordered Mr. St. John to leave. The police apparently simply decided to act as agents of the movie theater to enforce a private rule of conduct and not to enforce any rule of law.
On these facts, Judge Black concluded as a matter of law that the police violated Matthew St. John's constitutional rights under the Fourth Amendment because they seized and disarmed him even though there was not "any reason to believe that a crime was afoot." Judge Black's opinion is consistent with numerous high state and federal appellate courts, e.g., the United States Supreme Court in Florida v. J.L. (2000) (detaining man on mere report that he has a gun violates the Fourth Amendment) and the Washington Appeals Court in State v. Casad (2004) (detaining man observed by police as openly carrying rifles on a public street violates the Fourth Amendment).
Mr. St. John's attorney, Miguel Garcia, of Alamogordo, NM was pleased with the ruling and look forward to the next phase of the litigation which is a jury trial to establish the amount of damages, and possibly punitive damages. Garcia said that
"[i]t was great to see the Court carefully consider the issues presented by both sides and conclude that the U.S. Constitution prohibits the government from detaining and searching individuals solely for exercising their rights to possess a firearm as guaranteed by our state and federal constitutions."
Notably, Judge Black denied the police officers' requested "qualified immunity," a judicially created doctrine allowing government officials acting in good faith to avoid liability for violating the law where the law was not "clearly established." In this case, Judge Black concluded that
"[r]elying on well-defined Supreme Court precedent, the Tenth Circuit and its sister courts have consistently held that officers may not seize or search an individual without a specific, legitimate reason. . . . The applicable law was equally clear in this case. Nothing in New Mexico law prohibited Mr. St. John from openly carrying a firearm in the Theater. Accordingly, Mr. St. John's motion for summary judgment is granted with regard to his Fourth Amendment and New Mexico constitutional claims. Defendants' motion for summary judgment is denied with regard to the same and with regard to qualified immunity."
Judge Black's opinion and order is welcome news for the growing number of open carriers across the United States. Though police harassment of open carriers is rare, it's not yet as rare as it should be - over the last several years open carriers detained without cause by police have sued and obtained cash settlements in Pennsylvania, Louisiana, Virginia (see additional settlement here), and Georgia. More cases are still pending in Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania.
Judge Black's opinion and order can be read here.
NOTE: Mathew St. John's attorney, Miguel Garcia, is an associate at John R. Hakanson PC, 307 11th St., Alamogordo, NM 88310 and can be reached at Miguelo.Garcia AT gmail.com.
OH MY GOD!! MUST...REMEMBER...TO...BREATHE...!!!
Excellent Flying Tarantula Prank - Watch more Funny Videos
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KIND OF VIDEO.
I could watch these all day...
For Matt...
Chuck Norris’ dick is so big it has it’s own dick…..
and that dick is still bigget than yours.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the fisrt date… Always.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is a creationist because he KNOWS. He is the creator!
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, he ate an Indian earlier this week.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
and that dick is still bigget than yours.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the fisrt date… Always.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is a creationist because he KNOWS. He is the creator!
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, he ate an Indian earlier this week.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
I would have beaten him to death...
A Georgia man allegedly slapped a toddler at a Walmart store because she wouldn't stop crying, authorities said.
Roger Stephens, 61, was arrested Monday and charged with first-degree cruelty to children. An incident report obtained from police in Gwinnett County indicated Stephens did not know the 2-year-old girl he stands accused of hitting.
The confrontation happened shortly before noon at the Walmart in Stone Mountain, a suburb of Atlanta.
According to the arresting officer, the child's mother said her daughter was crying as they walked down one of the aisles.
The mother said a stranger later identified as Stephens approached them and said, "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you."
A few moments later, while the mother and the crying child were in another aisle, Stephens allegedly grabbed the girl and slapped her across the face.
Police said he hit her four or five times. "See, I told you I would shut her up," the suspect allegedly told the mother.
Authorities described "slight redness" to the toddler's face. Before he was arrested, Stephens apologized to the mother for striking the girl, the incident report said.
Stephens, a Stone Mountain resident, is being held by the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Department.
Roger Stephens, 61, was arrested Monday and charged with first-degree cruelty to children. An incident report obtained from police in Gwinnett County indicated Stephens did not know the 2-year-old girl he stands accused of hitting.
The confrontation happened shortly before noon at the Walmart in Stone Mountain, a suburb of Atlanta.
According to the arresting officer, the child's mother said her daughter was crying as they walked down one of the aisles.
The mother said a stranger later identified as Stephens approached them and said, "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you."
A few moments later, while the mother and the crying child were in another aisle, Stephens allegedly grabbed the girl and slapped her across the face.
Police said he hit her four or five times. "See, I told you I would shut her up," the suspect allegedly told the mother.
Authorities described "slight redness" to the toddler's face. Before he was arrested, Stephens apologized to the mother for striking the girl, the incident report said.
Stephens, a Stone Mountain resident, is being held by the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Department.
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Italian from New Jersey were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Italian from New Jersey fumed, ‘What’s with those jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’
The Indian doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’
The Chinese businessman called out, ‘Move it, time is money!’
The Catholic priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!’ said the priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’
The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’
The Indian doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’
The Chinese businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!’
The Italian from New Jersey said, ‘Why the fuck can’t they play at night?
The Italian from New Jersey fumed, ‘What’s with those jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’
The Indian doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’
The Chinese businessman called out, ‘Move it, time is money!’
The Catholic priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!’ said the priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’
The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’
The Indian doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’
The Chinese businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!’
The Italian from New Jersey said, ‘Why the fuck can’t they play at night?
For ROB ! ! ! ! !
A man seeking to join an East Texas Sheriff’s Department is being interviewed.
The Deputy doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good,
but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be
accepted.”
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: “Take this pistol and
go out and shoot six illegal aliens, Six ACLU lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit.”
“Why the rabbit?”
“So much for the attitude test,” says the Sergeant. “When can you start?”
The Deputy doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good,
but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be
accepted.”
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: “Take this pistol and
go out and shoot six illegal aliens, Six ACLU lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit.”
“Why the rabbit?”
“So much for the attitude test,” says the Sergeant. “When can you start?”
Brilliant ! ! !
Ever since i was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him, ‘I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.’
‘Just put yourself in my hands for one year,’ said the shrink. ‘Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.’
‘How much do you charge?’ ‘Eighty dollars per visit,’ replied the doctor. ‘I’ll sleep on it,’ I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. ‘Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?’ he asked.
‘Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup!’
‘Is that so!’ With a bit of an attitude he said, ‘and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?’
‘He told me to cut the legs off the bed !
‘Just put yourself in my hands for one year,’ said the shrink. ‘Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.’
‘How much do you charge?’ ‘Eighty dollars per visit,’ replied the doctor. ‘I’ll sleep on it,’ I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. ‘Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?’ he asked.
‘Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup!’
‘Is that so!’ With a bit of an attitude he said, ‘and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?’
‘He told me to cut the legs off the bed !
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