You know that hurt

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Ali's Favorite Song...really

We have a cd player next to her bed (Dora the explorer - it yells at Jessica)
When she goes to bed we put in an audio book or some jazz and everytime I put in a particular jazz cd she skips to this song and puts it on repeat.

Now, the child is three, I am not saying she is concious of the lyrics or picks it because it has meaning. I just love that she likes the song. It's one of my favorites.


Shawn Johnson says "It makes my taco pop!"

I swear I am gonna use this one all the time from now on.

When it's okay to use the " F " word

Labor Day TV Marathons...

You should probably be outside enjoying the nice weather and playing with the dog but in case you want to flop on the couch or record your favorite here is a list of the Labor Day TV marathons..

Check it out


This is the first time I ever got to see the man who played the voice of Fred Flintstone---cool!!

Ref takes on whole team..

Rang his bell...

Too funny...

Oh wow check this out ! ! !

Fish Flops

bits and pieces


thx jonco

Stop! ! !

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the burglar robbing her home of its valuables and she yelled, ‘STOP! Acts 2:38! (’Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.’).
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a Scripture to you.’
‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38’s!’


Too funny...

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, “You see, it’s like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it’s sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ………… so does she.”

Too funny...

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?” “Well, “he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”
“Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent.”
I asked “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”
“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

How Californians view America...

New meaning to the term...

Doggie Bag

Great shirt


How cool is that?

The 47-year-old Ocean’s Eleven star hit the woman’s Lancia Ypsilon from behind in his black sedan, leaving minor damages.
But he quickly accepted blame for the accident, which happened in Penabilli, central Italy.
When the woman went to collect it from the repair garage she found a brand new model and a note of apology on the windshield.
The Hollywood star, who rose to fame in ER, had written: "I’m so sorry . Hope you’ll forgive me. George Clooney."

Poor bastard

Neat is a site dedicated to bringing you previously secret information, the actual price people are paying for their cars. Just select the make and model and the site spits out the info. The database gets filled by reader-submitted reports. There's no guarantee that everything is 100% accurate, but it can at least give you a better picture of what you you can reasonably expect to pay...and negotiate for.
Via Consumerist



For Jessica...

Boom baby!!!


Me: 5 Goats!! I am marriage material. George Clooney level?

Find out

Phelps Victory...

About damn time ! ! !

The International Olympic Committee has ordered an investigation into the age of Chinese gymnast He Kexin, The Times of London reports. Faced with almost insurmountable evidence which suggests that He is two years younger than the birth date listed on her Chinese passport, the IOC has launched an inquiry that could result in the stripping of He's gold medals.
This news comes on the heels of another Times report that details the findings of a New York computer security expert who found official Chinese documents that list He's age as 14 years and 220 days. Mike Walker used a Chinese search engine's cache feature to find He's actual date of birth on spreadsheets from a Chinese government website. The spreadsheets were taken down off the site recently and He's name had been removed.
Assuming the IOC is committed to a real investigation and not some dog and pony show, the revelation that the Chinese government covered up the ages of gymnasts could end up being the defining moment of these Games for the host country. Officials wanted the Olympics to be a coming out party for a new China. But while the Games have been a huge success, there is a legitimate possibility that China's legacy from Beijing '08 will be that of a massive government cover-up, not the magical Opening Ceremony or the transformation of Beijing or anything else positive.
All the good work China did to put on these Olympics could be forgotten because of an unnecessary, arrogant move by the government. Why risk everything to put a 14-year old in the competition when they could have replaced her with an of-age 16-year old gymnast? Sure, He is a better gymnast than the Chinese gymnasts who were eligible to compete, but with the judges they had at the Olympics, would it really have mattered?

By Chris Chase

More Here

Wood fired Dodge

Not only has Wayne Keith developed a system that allows a normal automobile to run on burning wood, but he's also planning a coast-to-coast drive from South Carolina to California to prove it's the real deal. Basically the system gassifies the wood and feeds the syngas into the standard engine. It can run on pretty much any biomass material you can burn, including switchgrass, crop residues, and probably dead hobos and hookers too. So how much wood would a wood-burning truck burn if a wood-burning truck could burn wood?
Keith's 1991 Dodge Dakota V8 smokes through about a pound of wood per mile, and his back-up 1987 V6 Dakota gets about 1.5 miles per pound. The V8 tops out at 80 MPH and the V6 can squeeze out 65 MPH. So, if burning wood sounds like a better way to pollute the air than burning gasoline, and your truck doesn't have some newfangled fuel-injection system, this just might be the way to avoid gas pumps and dispose of that annoying forest in your backyard.


Uh, ok.

Wow an EBay auction for a pencil. Sounds weird but strangely cool.
I wonder if my sister would be interested in a $40.00 pencil?
I'd buy it just to find out if was all it's cracked up to be.


The Eberhard Faber Blackwing 602 is the most famous pencil in existence. It has been celebrated by collectors, artists, enthusiasts, designers, and writers. You can search for “Blackwing 602” and find hundreds of web pages celebrating this amazing pencil.

“The Blackwing 602 has a growing reputation among writers and artists as the best pencil ever made.” - Ninth Wave Designs

“$55.55 a pencil – The Blackwing 602. If there ever was a pencil that was appreciate, it was this. I have a terrible urge to write with one of these.” - Carthik Sharma

“Can any pencil replace the Blackwing 602?” – Boing Boing

The slogan on the pencil reads “Half the Pressure, Twice the Speed” – a claim that is no exaggeration. The pencil features an incredible, smooth writing lead that no other pencil available today can rival. Several people have searched for an alternative but have only come up with second rate substitutes. This distinctive pencil also features a unique square replaceable eraser.

The 602 has not been made since 1998 and will never be made again. The machine that makes the distinctive holder for the square eraser broke, and was subsequently scrapped. Eberhard Faber has stated time and again that no more Blackwing 602 pencils will be produced.

This pencil has achieved cult status, and there are a very limited number of them in the world today. As supplies diminish, so do the chances to see, use, and own one of these distinctive pencils. This auction is your chance to own one of these iconic pencils.

Perhaps you are a longtime enthusiast, or perhaps you want to experience the magic for the first time. Either way, you'll be among a select few that own, use, and love the Blackwing 602. This is a treasure for anyone who enjoys putting pencil to paper. Along with being an excellent tool, it is also a great conversation piece, gift, and collectible.


The Skittles folks did it again. Funny, weird, intriguing and utterly disturbing.

(only after I posted this did I notice the pun, sorry)

I wonder how much location scouts get paid...

I got an Uncle named Juan...

A virile middle aged Mexican gentlemen named Juan was relaxing at his favorite bar in Tijuana when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bed room where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, ‘So, you finish?’ She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, ‘No.’

Surprised, Juan reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Juan smiled and asked, ‘You finish?’

Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, ‘No.’ Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Juan reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Juan fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, ‘You finish?’

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispered in his ear, ‘No, I Norwegian.’

KAABLAAAMMMMM - Watch more free videos


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Athiest finds nothing in his toast

Too funny

Gonna burn in hell for laughing at this one...

Rare image of a Mexican Navy SEAL

From Brad


Saw this before - still funny

Michael Phelps Chuck Norris'd

Michael Phelps isn’t like a fish, a fish is like Michael Phelps
Michael Phelps can make water run uphill
Michael Phelps doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage
Michael Phleps wasn’t born he was hatched
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult
Michael Phelps counted to infinity twice while doing the breast stroke
Michael Phelps can no longer shower because water is afraid of him
When Michael Phelps looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Michael Phelps
Bigfoot takes pictures of Michael Phelps
On the Asian market, Michael Phelps’ urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce
Michael Phelps can dribble a football
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Michael Phelps out. It failed miserably
When Michael Phelps falls in water, Michael Phelps doesn’t get wet. Water gets Michael Phelpsed
Michael Phelps can divide by zero
When you Google ‘Michael Phelps losing’ you get no results because it just doesn’t happen
Phelps once punched a hole thru a shark just to see down the ocean
If by some incredible space-time paradox, Michael Phelps would ever swim against himself, he’d win. Period.
Phelps doesn’t sweat, he drips chlorine
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Michael Phelps
Michael Phelps was what Willis was talkin’ about.
Michael Phelps saved Gepetto from the whale
Michael Phelps can swim through ice
When in China, Michael Phelps would order whole chickens but only eat their souls…then do the breast stroke
You can find a pot of Phelps at the end of the rainbow
There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Michael Phelps…. Just kidding, Michael Phelps is first every time
People no longer go swimming, they go phelpsing
Contrary to popular belief, Phelps actually parted the Red Sea with his freestyle medley
Water would rather jump to its death than be near Michael Phelps, hence waterfalls
As a child, Phelps didn’t wear water wings, water wings wore Michael Phelps
As polar ice caps continue to melt, humans will begin to evolve to adjust to a world of water. Conclusion: Phelps is from the future
Phelps taught Aquaman how to swim
Hurricane Phelps is a sign of the apocalypse; it makes Katrina look like a muddy puddle

from Bits & Pieces by Jonco


Check it out

Who wants to be Secretary of State?

Hoist a drink today ! ! !

Today, August 19, marks a very special anniversary for Star Trek fans everywhere. On this date in 1921, a man named Eugene Wesley Roddenberry was born in Texas. Following distinguished service in the U.S. Army Air Corps in World War II, he became a police officer while trying to start a career writing for television in Hollywood. When that career began to take off, he quit the police force and wrote full-time, on many different 1950s TV shows. After a stint on Have Gun, Will Travel, he produced his own series, called The Lieutenant. When that didn't do very well, he produced a pilot for a science-fiction series, which he famously pitched as "A Wagon Train to the Stars." Of course, that series was the original Star Trek, or at least it was after another, different pilot was made. He was also heavily involved in the films and the other series, right up until his death, of heart failure, on October 24, 1991. Great Bird of the Galaxy, we still miss you.

But wait: there's more! Today is also the birthday of Jonathan Frakes, the man behind the beard of Commander William Thelonious Riker. Frakes is a multitalented man, able not only to act but also direct and play the trombone, though probably not all at the same time. He was born on this date in 1952, and we at GeekDad wish him a very happy birthday, and many more to come!



Him and Her - The difference

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS Journal:

Harley wouldn’t start today, but at least I got laid.

Don't know what he did...

But he won't do it again...

How To Save the Government $5 Million!

A president’s pension currently is $191,300 per year, lasting until he is 80 years old.

Assuming the next president lives to age 80:

1) Sen. McCain would receive ZERO pension, as he would reach 80 at the end of two terms as president.

2) Sen. Obama would be retired for 26 years after two terms, so would receive $4,973,800 in pension.

Therefore, it would certainly make economic sense to elect McCain in November.

Now, how’s that for non-partisan thinking???

According to Snopes the is all wrong - the pension is lifetime!!!

Thanks Bits and Pieces

Cool car door - BAMM

Peugoet 1007 has electric sliding doors

See more


A U.S. soldier stationed in Iraq asked his wife to send him dirt ( U.S. soil), fertilizer, and some grass seed so that he can have the sweet aroma, and feel of grass growing beneath his feet. Before his squadron leave on a mission they take turns walking through the grass and the American soil — to bring them good luck.

Too FUNNY (slightly NSFW)

New mouse for women ! ! ! My wife is gonna kill me!

Kids'll do the darndest things

This is what the new Vette should look like ! ! !

Chinese Gymnastics hopeful for 2012

Don't worry her passport will verify that she'll be 16 by 2012.

The Olympics’ age-old problem
By Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports

BEIJING – For a long time, elements of the Chinese government itself thought women’s gymnast He Kexin was born Jan. 1, 1994, which would make her 14 and too young to compete in these Summer Olympics.
Whether it was repeated mentions in the government-controlled media – including a new one uncovered Friday by the Associated Press – or on official gymnastic meet registration forms and websites, He was “this little girl” and a “new star.”
As recently as December 2007, in provincial gymnastics meets and news reports that covered it, she was a 13-year-old prodigy, too young for the 16-year-old Olympic age limit for gymnastics.
Then, suddenly, she wasn’t.
Earlier this year China produced her passport that claimed she was born Jan. 1, 1992, making her old enough to perform a brilliant uneven bar routine and push China to the women’s all around gold medal.
The Chinese either got it wrong in 2007 or wrong in 2008. Considering 2000 Chinese bronze medalist Yang Yun later admitted on state television she was 14 that year, the reported ages of He Kexin and at least two of her teammates have aroused suspicion in nearly everyone except the powers that be – the International Gymnastics Federation (FIG) and the International Olympic Committee (IOC).

LogoThere are
people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Boom baby!!!

I got some squirr.. uh Racoons.

Locals at a village pub in Norfolk are beating the credit crunch by bartering home-grown produce for pints. The Pigs public house, in Edgefield, near Holt, encourages drinkers to contribute to its traditional food menu in return for free alcohol. A sign placed inside the pub reads: "If you grow, breed, shoot or steal anything that may look at home on our menu, bring it in and let's do a deal." Pints have been exchanged for a kilo of potatoes, three whole mackerel and a kilo of fresh fruit. Locally shot rabbits, pheasants and pigeons have also been exchanged for beer. Manager Cloe Wasey, 24, said the offer has been a success as people have started to feel the credit crunch. "Someone will say 'that rabbit tasted great' and we say 'here, meet the person who shot it'. It's also a challenge for the chef to make the most of the ingredients."

Chocolate covered bacon !?!?!?

It sounds so wrong. But it tastes just right, says Joseph Marini III, a fourth-generation candy maker who is selling the bacon bonbons at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk seaside amusement park.

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Great Picture