For Michelle...

Happy Birthday ! ! ! ! !

Leonard Simon Nimoy (born March 26, 1931) is an American actor, film director, poet, musician and photographer. He is best known for playing the character of Spock on Star Trek, an American television series that ran for three seasons from 1966 to 1969, in addition to reprising the role in several movie sequels.

Nimoy was born in Boston, Massachusetts to Yiddish-speaking Jewish immigrants from Izyaslav, Ukraine. His father, Max Nimoy, owned a barbershop. His mother, Dora Nimoy (nee Spinner), was a homemaker. Nimoy began acting at the age of 8. His first major role was Ralphie in Clifford Odets's "Awake and Sing," at 17. He studied photography at UCLA, but left before completing his degree. He graduated from Boston College in 1953, and has an MA in Education and an honorary doctorate from Antioch University in Ohio.

Nimoy spent much of his early career doing small parts in B-movies, TV shows such as Dragnet, and serials such as Republic Pictures' Zombies of the Stratosphere. In 1961, he had a minor role in The Twilight Zone episode "A Quality of Mercy".

Nimoy served in the U.S. Army Reserve, being discharged in November 1955 as a sergeant.

Holy crap on a cracker ! ! ! ! - I GOTTA WATCH THIS! ! !!



Cat Shit One

Gotta get me one of these...



R/C Car that you can ride on ! ! !

Football

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league. So they’ve decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.
They will be known as the………. TAMPACKS.
Unfortunately, they’re only good for one period and have no second string.

From bits and pieces

For my Sister...

Join the NRA - FREE ! ! ! !


Free - One Year NRA Membership

Free one year membership to the NRA. Here's your free chance to try it out and experience for yourself the benefits of membership.
24/7 Defense of your Firearm Freedoms.
Your choice from three NRA Magazines.
$1,000 in Insurance for Your Guns.
$5,000 in Accident Insurance for You.
Your NRA Membership Card and Decal.
Up to 60% off on Starkey® Hearing Products.
Savings on Hotels, Rental Cars and More.
Invites to "Friends of NRA" Dinners and Special Events.
FREE Admission to NRA's National Firearms Museum.
FREE Admission to NRA's Guns, Gear and Outfitter Show.
FREE Admission to NRA's Celebration of American Values Leadership Forum on May 15-17, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona.


Canned foods and Shotguns...

Happy Birthday ! ! ! ! !



William Shatner was born on March 22, 1931 in Montreal, Quebec. Trained as a Shakepearean actor, he went on to play many, many, many roles on stage screen and television. Some of the roles he has made famous infamous include the title role on T.J. Hooker, Denny Crane on The Practice and Boston Legal and, of course, a certain iconic captain of a certain iconic starship.
Shatner is also a director, producer, musician, author and celebrity pitchman. He is an equestrian and breeder of American Saddlebred horses. He is currently up for a Streamy Award for The Shatner Project on the interwebs. And finally, as Captain James T. Kirk in perpetual syndication on the original Star Trek series.


HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAA


For Melissa...




Yep...


Pimped ride old school style...


From bits and pieces

For Chanel...


Pass the mustard...

For Darrell

At 11,840 square feet, the Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg, Germany is the world’s largest model set.


It took 500,000 working hours to build, going from Norway, Denmark, and Sweden to North America, through Germany, Austria, and Switzerland—complete with the Grand Canyon, 20-foot tall Swiss mountains, and:
• 800 trains.

• Over 10,000 train cars in total, running several hundred kilometers every day.

• One train is 47.5 feet long.

• Over 170 computer controlled cars.

• More than 200,000 people (there’s all kinds of things here, even a crime scene).

• Controlled by 40 computers.• 200 cameras control the premises.

• Day and night lighting simulator.

• 300,000 computer-controlled LEDs.

via Bits and Pieces

Stupidest thing I have ever seen...

For Penny and Frank...

WTF, seriously, WTF!?



I'm a tried and true gearhead but I have no idea what car this is or if it even exists...

Understanding Big Bonuses & The Coming Options Scandals




People can argue all they want about bonuses being a requirement to keep good employees. It’s a lie. Good employees with big cash bonuses due, stay at least until they are paid. Once they get paid, they see themselves as free agents, pure and simple.
Retaining GOOD employees has absolutely nothing to do with the bonus they have already earned. Keeping good employees has everything to do with their next deal.
Here is what good employees want.
They want the ability to be good at their job.- Are there any stellar revenue producers worth a damn that are going to stay at AIG ? Hell no. Can you imagine the opening line of an employee from any of the AIG insurance lines… “Hi, Im from AIG and I’m here to help”. Yeah, that will help close a deal. Every salesperson worth a damn over there knows they don’t have the capital to take risks, which is what they need to do deals and make money. They also know that all the easy money has already been made and if you work at AIG you are going to be under a microscope with everything you do.
Of course, AIG competitors know this as well. You can bet every AIG employee is playing out the bonus season. The good employees are gone once the bonus issue is resolved. They are off to a company that has capital to cover the insurance and other products they get paid to sell.
And this doesn’t only apply to AIG. Any financial company without capital to backstop financial products is going to lose their best people.
Good employees also want to be in demand. They want to be loved and they know the only way to get the love is to test the free agent market
The ultimate arbiters of efficient markets are free agent salespeople. They are going to follow the money. They will do more homework than you and make sure they have every opportunity to get paid. Not only will they follow the money, they will play off the desperation of companies that feel they are going to lose their people as leverage for their next job.
In negotiating their new deals, these free agents are going to know the following:
a. There is a very good chance that stock prices will go up.
b. They are going to get paid very generous stock option packages because stock prices are depressed
c. If they can get huge numbers of options at current prices, any decent increase in the market over the term of their vesting periods can make them 10s, if not 100s of MILLIONS of Dollars.
The only possible way for Citi, AIG and the banks that are struggling are going to get and retain employees is to overpay with stock options.. They know they can’t offer them a great deal making environment in order to be great at their jobs. So instead, they have to overcompensate them in options. Their pitch will be simple. We are giving you 1mm, 2mm, 10mm options at 50c, or $1.50, or $4, whatever. Remember when our stock was 50 last year ? Well if we only get back to 10, you are rich.
That my friends is a story any free agent will listen to. For that much money, like in pro sports, they will play for a losing team. That is what retention for many struggling financial companies will look like.
The good banks like Goldman will offer them the chance to be great at their jobs, and make some money if the stock goes up to prior levels. These employees will be able to make real money from the deals they close. The bad banks will offer stock packages that will seem like lottery tickets.
I can’t say that I know about any specific packages being offered. I don’t. What I do know is this. If and when, next year or even 2 or 3 years from now, a few of the banks that are currently struggling start paying back their tarp money, the headlines are going to be outrageous.
The fact that they can pay back the bailout money will probably mean they are in good shape. Which probably will mean that the shares are selling for far more than they are now.
Which all in all translates as follows, the banks that needed the Tarp money the most and survive, will end up having execs that make the biggest hauls from stock compensation.
The headlines will read ” Bank Execs make 100 million in just 3 years from stock options as taxpayers wait for their profits “
Rather than arguing about how execs are getting paid for yesterday, our politicians should discuss the best way to pay them for this coming and future years. Thats when the real money will be made and everyone who is any good in the financial industry already knows it. Its just the politicians that dont.

from blog maverick by mark cuban

I am sick, no posts, go away, send soup and booze. Or booze soup.


Too funny...

The heaviest element known to science



Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons


From Bits & Pieces by Jonco

This is TOO funny ! ! ! !

An honest R&B song...



Drew is on a roll today!!

Doggie CSI

Another cool one from Drew...


DNA Breed Identification

- Discover the breeds present in your dog through DNA
- Get a better understanding of your dog’s behavior, potential health risks and personality
- Get a permanent record of your dog’s DNA
- Simple and harmless collection technique that can be done at home

The DNA of any dog governs the appearance of the dog as well as being related to the general behavioral characteristics of the breed. In recent years, there has been a great deal of research performed on how differences in DNA give rise to the differences that are seen between breeds. Advances in DNA testing technology mean that it has become possible to identify the ancestry of any dog by performing a simple test using a cheek swab. The DNA required for the test to be run is isolated from cells that are trapped on the DNA ID Card. All cells carry the same genetic material, regardless of type or location in the animal. Taking a cheek swab is therefore the easiest way to obtain the samples needed for testing. On receipt at the BioPet testing site the samples are prepared and analyzed, resulting in a rapid and accurate determination of the breeds that have contributed to the makeup of your dog. We believe that 92% of the mixed breed dog population in the USA is covered by our 62 validated breeds.

UP!!!!!



Hi there! My name is Doug...Squirrel! ! !

WTF, seriously, WTF!?

So wrong but so funny ! ! !

My wife will explain it to me later...

There were three Medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had 5 squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms.

I guess this just proves that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

This is cool...

Doesn't this look like fun?



Stole from the j-walk

Too cool...

From Melissa...

Scene:

I am sitting Indian style on the bed.
Scotty is jumping around and flying Tinkerbell through the air and landing her in my eye.
I fart.
It is terrible.
My eyes water.
I grab Scotty's head and shove it in my lap and he giggles.
Until he has to breathe.
He screams.
He starts to fight a little bit.
Poor child goes limp.
I let him up for air and he screams "Ew! Gross!"

And curtain.

You're welcome.

I like Breasts...

Mmmm, Breasts...

Don't you wish you could?

OK I'm back

I spent entirely too much time trying to click on the #$% ball in this fabulous time waster that Drew sent...

http://thedogpaddler.com/RandomUploads/Ball/ball.htm

Old Indian...

The old Indian wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, “What are you going to do with the money?”
“Make jewelry and sell it,” was the response.
“What have you got for collateral?”
“Don’t know collateral.”
“Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?”
“Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup.”
The banker shook his head, “How about livestock?”
“Yes, I have a horse.”
“How old is it?”
“Don’t know, has no teeth.”
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, “Here to pay.” he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.
“What are you going to do with the rest of that money?”
“Put in tepee.”
“Why don’t you deposit it in my bank,” he asked.
“Don’t know deposit.”
“You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it.”
The old Indian leaned across the desk, “What you got for collateral?”

From Bits and Pieces a hilarious blog that I rip off all the time...

Gulp!!!

Dream Car! ! !


Dream Car! ! !


Gotta get me one of these...




Coming out to promote the new Star Trek movie is a new line of Trek fragrances from Genki. I’m not kidding. The three scents include Tiberius ("difficult to define and impossible to refuse"), Red Shirt ("Because tomorrow may never come"), and Ponn Farr (after a Vulcan mating ritual).


Genki’s “Red Shirt” cologne (whose tag line “Because Tomorrow May Never Come” is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a “devotion to living each day as it could be your last” the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.

Link




Stole from Neat-o-rama

For Grandma...brace yourself! ! !

For Sale...


I am selling my 1967 Sunbeam Alpine. It's in great shape - no rust - no damage or missing parts.

It has the Rootes 1725 cc engine but spun a main bearing (they do that). I have a second engine that I bought in running condition from the President of the local Sunbeam club.

I'm asking $2500.00 obo if you're interested let me know.

Happy Square Root Day

Math lovers and numerologists take note: Today, March 3, 2009, is square root day.

The unofficial holiday comes around but nine times a century, when the numbers of the calendar align so that the month and day are each equal to the square root of the year as expressed in two-digit form.
(In today's case, 3/3/09, 3 is the square root of 9—in other words, 32 = 3 x 3 = 9.)

Square root days arise in every year whose last two digits are a perfect square, or a number whose square root is a whole number: The last square root day was on February 2, 2004 (2/2/04), and the next occurrence will be on April 4, 2016 (4/4/16).


From Sara (brainy chicks are hot!)

Mel...




Today I had:

Breakfast...
Frosted MINI Wheats and non fat milk.
(fuckin mini wheats - where are the MAJOR wheats when you need them?!?!?)

Lunch...
Nothing but the air God himself sent me.

Dinner...
Subway Club - Five dollar foot long (Shut up Matthew!!) no mayo (fuckin Matthew...!)

Dessert...
A bit of the boozes.

A bit of truth...

So, a moment of honesty, I moved the folder full of "stuff" from my desktop to the recycle bin for an HR related reason and when I moved it back it was empty.

Three weeks of gathering LOST!!!

$%^&*()*&^%$

Oh well. I guess I'll have to start looking again ! ! ! ! ! !!

Life is good...

Shut up Dave!

Dave.

Find Two and a half men and burn me them all...


Please.

V

A quote from DRJim

Admiral Yamamoto famously said "You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a man with a rifle behind every blade of grass."

And so it should be......

OK I'll admit it.

I am the Stig.

Shut up! Jessica.

Ooooh yay!! Margaritas ! ! !


Stole it from bits and pieces

For Michelle...

Today's kids wouldn't believe...

Trap shooting...

Shooting trap on Sunday with friends - anyone interested?